Drunk threesome was amazing but it cost me my best mate and flatmate
DEAR DEIDRE: I HAD a threesome with my best friend and my flatmate, and I feel used now because they have started a relationship.
I am a guy and my best friend is a girl I was at school with. We are both 22. Last year I landed a job in London and got a flat-share with a guy I got on really well with. He is very good looking and fit as he works out a lot.
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When Covid arrived, I came back to live with my parents as I could work from home. It meant I got to be with my dog — we got him when I was 12.
Still, I missed my flatmate’s company and asked him over to stay for a weekend when the first lockdown ended.
I mentioned him to my school friend and she suggested she bring us a Chinese takeaway. She had broken up with her boyfriend and wanted to take her mind off things.
We had a good evening and then my flatmate suggested a drinking game where the loser had to take off a piece of clothing.
It was a giggle and we were all drinking massively. My parents were visiting my gran so we had the house to ourselves.
We all ended up nearly naked and somehow it turned into a threesome. We had an amazing time despite being very drunk.
The next morning we were a bit embarrassed but didn’t really speak about it and they both left. I thought of it as a one-off due to us being drunk.
After about a week I realised I hadn’t heard from my flatmate which was odd as we usually messaged most days.
I didn’t hear from my best friend either, though I’d usually meet up with her for a walk or a drink. She came up with one excuse after another not to meet.
In the end I confronted her and she said she was dating my flatmate and it was going amazingly well. I was speechless. She went to stay in the flat with him for the second lockdown and is still there.
I feel totally used. I think they knew there was an instant attraction as soon as they met, in which case they should not have involved me.
I’ve lost my closest friend and I can’t even go back to my flat when life returns to normal.
Topic of the today
SEXUAL happiness increases the more sex you have – but only up to a point.
More than once a week doesn’t make you happier – but less than once a week can make a couple unhappier.
My e-leaflet Saving Your Sex Life can help. Email problems@deardeidre.org or message me on my Facebook page for a copy.
DEIDRE SAYS: You had all had a lot to drink and I doubt they were as calculating as your hurt feelings are telling you.
Be the grown-up and tell them you hope their relationship goes well. Is the real problem that you don’t have someone special in your life?
Most read in Dear Deidre
Look at how you can boost your social life, both at home and if you go back to London.
Restrictions are beginning to lift and my e-leaflet Widening Your Social Life can help.
But avoid threesomes – and any casual sex. It puts you at high risk of catching Covid.
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