I’ve become frightened of sex with my husband since going through menopause

DEAR DEIDRE: I’M 52 and my husband is 55. We have always had a great sex life but since I went through the menopause, I’ve become frightened of having intercourse. The doctors gave me an episiotomy, a cut down below, to help when my babies were born. The scarring around there seems more tender than ever. […]

DEAR DEIDRE: I’M 52 and my husband is 55.

We have always had a great sex life but since I went through the menopause, I’ve become frightened of having intercourse.

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We’ve always had a great sex life but now I’ve become frightened of having intercourse[/caption]

The doctors gave me an episiotomy, a cut down below, to help when my babies were born.

The scarring around there seems more tender than ever.

My husband has tried to be very gentle but it has become so painful that I can’t help but cry out in discomfort.

This has now started to affect him, as he’s terrified of hurting me.

I hope this isn’t the end of our sex life.

I feel like we are far too young to give up on that.

What can we do?

DEIDRE SAYS: Ask your GP to refer you to a gynaecologist.

They will help you with some gynaecological physiotherapy which can aid your elasticity and comfort down there.

Also consider using lubrication which would help make intercourse less painful and more enjoyable.

Knowing that making love might hurt will be making you tense your muscles in that area, creating even more discomfort.

It is a cycle, just getting worse and worse.

I’m sending you my support packs How Counselling Can Help and How Sex Therapy Can Help, which explain how you can start to regain your confidence in the bedroom.

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