I spent most of my dad’s funeral in the toilet trying to avoid my mother

DEAR DEIDRE: I SPENT most of my dad’s funeral in the toilet, trying to stay away from my mother. I was so surprised she turned up – especially as she wasn’t invited. When dad was alive, she’d cross the road to avoid speaking with him. They were married for 15 years and divorced when I was […]

DEAR DEIDRE: I SPENT most of my dad’s funeral in the toilet, trying to stay away from my mother.

I was so surprised she turned up – especially as she wasn’t invited.

Getty - Contributor

I spent most of my dad’s funeral in the toilet, trying to avoid my mother[/caption]

When dad was alive, she’d cross the road to avoid speaking with him. They were married for 15 years and divorced when I was little.

I’m 45 and my dad was 67. He’d been ill for some time and it turned out he’d been flushing all of his medication down the loo – had he taken it he’d have been alive today.

This was so upsetting to find out. He left no will and no money.

I’ve had to deal with everything myself and although people are quick to criticise, there’s been no offer of help. I feel so isolated.

DEIDRE SAYS: You are feeling the stress of everything – people being critical, dealing with your normally absent mother and trying to grieve too.

You’ve done an incredible job holding everything together and now it’s time to look after yourself.

The emotions you describe are normal – anger, pain and guilt being three of them.

Find local support to talk through losing your dad from The Good Grief Trust (thegoodgrieftrust.org).

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