I had amazing sex in two-year affair with husband’s best friend from childhood
DEAR DEIDRE: I HAD the most amazing sex in a two-year affair with my husband’s best friend from his childhood. Before Christmas I called it off with him, as I couldn’t think straight and it was affecting my work and my relationship with my children. My head is still a mess. I miss the sex so […]
DEAR DEIDRE: I HAD the most amazing sex in a two-year affair with my husband’s best friend from his childhood.
Before Christmas I called it off with him, as I couldn’t think straight and it was affecting my work and my relationship with my children.
My head is still a mess. I miss the sex so much and am considering telling my partner.
I am 35, and my husband and his friend are 37. My daughter is 12 and we have a son together who is eight.
My husband and I were introduced to each other through this friend when we were in our early twenties and I already had my daughter.
They grew up as neighbours and used to be thick as thieves. But over the years they drifted apart and we had very little to do with him.
Then, three years ago, he invited us over for a barbecue with his wife.
We started socialising with the friend again and I found myself thinking what great shape he was in. I knew he was checking me out too.
One evening he called around when I was alone, we started flirting and both admitted we’d thought about sex with each other.
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My husband is a brilliant dad and good to me but I was bored of our predictable life.
His friend and I started meeting in secret — at his place when his wife was at work or mine when my husband and the kids were out.
That carried on for two years until I had this crisis. I don’t know why but I couldn’t do it any more.
I knew I had to focus on the kids and my gardening business, which I had been neglecting.
But I don’t know what to do about my husband. I’m not attracted to him. I’m thinking of coming clean with him.
At least then I wouldn’t have to live with this guilt any more.
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DEIDRE SAYS: Don’t kid yourself that sharing your affair with your husband will lessen the guilt.
Your husband is a great dad and all about his family. You have found a good man.
Like in all long-term relationships, sex can flag. You have done the hard bit, by putting an end to the dead-end, no-strings arrangement you had.
Now you can focus on reclaiming your sex life and your marriage.
It is absolutely possible to build back your relationship stronger than ever before.
Please consider couples counselling to help you both reconnect.
Have a look at tavistockrelationships.org, which can help with marriage counselling.
And I am sending you my support pack 50 Ways To Add Fun To Sex.
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