My husband has been sneaking off to meet a female friend and makes our sons lie for him

DEAR DEIDRE: DRIVING through our town one Sunday morning, I saw my husband, my children and an older woman who my husband drinks with sitting outside a cafe. He’d told me it was too early to go out as a family. It’s not the first time he has snuck off to see this woman but he […]

DEAR DEIDRE: DRIVING through our town one Sunday morning, I saw my husband, my children and an older woman who my husband drinks with sitting outside a cafe.

He’d told me it was too early to go out as a family.

It’s not the first time he has snuck off to see this woman but he is now involving our children.

I don’t have a problem with his friendship with her but he’s sneaky about it.

I am 43, my husband is 45 and she is 51. The children keep letting slip they see her.

I know where she parks and which sweets she buys them. The children, both boys, are nine and seven.

I questioned them gently yesterday about what they did in the morning and they were worried about telling me.

They said Daddy had told them I would be furious. I reassured them they hadn’t done anything wrong.

I’m scared of confronting my husband. But I am more worried about the impact involving the children in these lies will have on them.

DEIDRE SAYS: You say you don’t have a problem with this friendship, but you should.

Whether your husband is having an affair or not, he is being dishonest.

Your sons will feel the tension and it’s not fair to involve them in this manipulation.

Tell him you need to go to counselling for all your sakes.

For online counselling, go to relate.org.uk and tavistockrelationships.org.

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