My partner’s disgusting dog is ruining our sex life
DEAR DEIDRE: MY partner’s spoiled and smelly dog is ruining our relationship.
I’m 28, he’s 29. When we met two years ago, I didn’t know he had a chihuahua.
It wasn’t a problem then because it went for sleepovers at his ex’s house. But now we have moved in together and I’m 20 weeks pregnant.
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I’ve tried to like the dog, taken it on walks and played with it. But the truth is, I hate it.
I’m actually a dog lover and have a dog myself, which my parents care for.
But I can’t bring my own pet here because my partner’s dog has viciously attacked it several times.
This chihuahua moults everywhere. It yaps, cries and whines all the time. If my partner has a shower, it sits outside crying.
It constantly whines if we don’t feed it human food, or play with it.
Worst of all, my partner lets it sleep in our bedroom, and it stands at the end of the bed howling whenever we attempt to be intimate. It’s a miracle I got pregnant and it is ruining our sex life.
This dog disgusts me. It coughs, splutters and drips bodily fluid all over the floor. It also stinks and it so noisy, the sound of its breathing now winds me up.
My partner baths it regularly using our towels, and then puts them in the washing machine. My clothes come out covered in dog hair.
The thought of having my baby anywhere near this dog is making me so anxious. I’m scared for my baby’s health and its safety.
This weekend, things came to a head. I expressed my concerns to my partner and he was so upset that we haven’t spoken in three days.
I know he loves his dog but I’m now thinking of leaving him. It’s me or the dog.
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DEIDRE SAYS: You would really regret leaving your partner because of his demanding dog, given you have an otherwise good relationship and are having a baby together.
You need to find a compromise.
Rather than saying you hate the dog, which will make him defensive, tell him you are worried about bringing a baby into this environment.
Ask if he can help by changing the way he treats the dog and introduce some boundaries. It is perfectly reasonable to ask that the dog sleeps downstairs.
Maybe he could hire a dog trainer and take it to the vet to find out why it’s dripping fluid?
Suggest he buys the dog its own set of towels and takes them to the launderette.
My support pack, Looking After Your Relationship, will help.