I’m worried my American ex will take our son with her when she moves back to the US

DEAR DEIDRE: HOW do I convince my American ex not to take my three-year-old son with her when she moves back to the US? She’s 26, I’m 27 and I ended our relationship last August after I discovered she was cheating on me. I found condoms in her gym bag. We hadn’t used them in months, […]

DEAR DEIDRE: HOW do I convince my American ex not to take my three-year-old son with her when she moves back to the US?

She’s 26, I’m 27 and I ended our relationship last August after I discovered she was cheating on me. I found condoms in her gym bag.

We hadn’t used them in months, as we were trying for another child, so I assumed they were for someone else.

Ever since, she’s acted as if I’m in the wrong. She rarely lets me speak to our son on the phone and often cancels when it’s my turn to have him.

Now she’s told me she’s planning to move back to Boston to be near her parents – and plans to take him with her.

Her exact words were: “Maybe I’ll let him come visit for Christmas . . . but don’t count on it.”

I know this tension isn’t good for our son, so how do I salvage things?

DEIDRE SAYS: Your ex sounds bitter and as if she is punishing you for ending your relationship. She is being selfish and doing what is best for her, not what is best for your son.

I am sending you my support pack When Parents Fall Out, which explains how children are negatively affected in this situation. Unless you agree, she will need to get court permission to move abroad with your child.

You might need to seek legal advice but also contact Families Need Fathers (fnf.org.uk, 0300 0300 363), which will be able to advise you.