I don’t know why my ex’s new relationship bothers me so much

DEAR DEIDRE: A WELL-known musician is dating my ex-girlfriend. He is much older than her – and now I feel she lied to me for 15 years.

I’m 40 and she’s 38. Her new man is in his early sixties.

She’s a session singer and while we were together there was a rumour about her and another older musician, but she always denied it.

I accepted her word and because he was 30 years older I thought it was ridiculous. But now I think it might have been true.

I’ve always wanted a family, but she said she didn’t want children.

Our relationship had gone downhill in the last five years, with no intimacy or romance, until we agreed to split earlier this year.

I don’t know why her new relationship is bothering me. Maybe it’s an underlying regret I wasted so many years with her.

Or maybe it’s because she’s clearly always wanted someone who isn’t me.

I’ve so much rage and sadness inside me and don’t know how to get over it.

DEIDRE SAYS: Fifteen years is a long time to be with somebody, and sometimes people change. You grew apart.

You have learned a lot from being with your ex and now understand what sort of relationship you want.

There’s still time for you to find someone else, settle down, and have a family.

At the moment, you are grieving for the relationship, but you will start to feel better. My support pack, Moving On, should help you.

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