You’ve been snogging all wrong! From limp lettuce to kettle kissing try sexpert Alix Fox’s tips for a sexier smooch
ARE your kisses hits or misses? More than half of under-30s have lost confidence in their kissing skills since the pandemic began. And almost one in five of us has not had a smooch since lockdown began, according to a poll of 2,000 people for chewing gum brand Extra. Sexpert Alix Fox says: “After 18 months […]
ARE your kisses hits or misses?
More than half of under-30s have lost confidence in their kissing skills since the pandemic began.
And almost one in five of us has not had a smooch since lockdown began, according to a poll of 2,000 people for chewing gum brand Extra.
Sexpert Alix Fox says: “After 18 months in various stages of lockdown, many of us are severely out of practice when it comes to locking lips.
“Well over half the nation feel they have lost their confidence when it comes to exchanging snogs.”
Here Alix tells Katy Docherty how to go about getting your mojo back for making out, from sweet whispers to building some steamy anticipation.
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Kissdemeanours
IT is possible to tell from a date’s body language if they want a kiss.
But asking means you can be sure – and it can be very sexy.
Saying: “I’d love to kiss you – if you’d love to be kissed,” is so much suaver than a lunge.
Some people imagine a sudden, forceful kiss will seem commanding and sweep a partner off their feet.
Others plunge their tongue into a date’s mouth through nerves and have worked themselves into a panic trying to pick their moment.
TV shows can make this look cool but the worst-case scenario is that you will jump on someone who really doesn’t want that from you.
Don’t risk it. Ask them.
Build up tension
YOUR partner’s pout is not a bullseye.
Build up sensation and anticipation by lightly kissing their neck, cheeks and earlobes first, or lift their hand to your face and kiss the tips of their fingers.
Then you can finally fulfil their desire with a full French kiss.
Snogging sparks the release of a cocktail of hormones and neurotransmitters – including oxytocin, which makes us feel affectionate and bonded – dopamine and serotonin, which give us that swooning, blissed-out feeling.
Taking your time leaves room for these effects to be maximised, making your approach memorable and masterful.
Don’t be tight-lipped
AVOID keeping your mouth too rigid and your lips too closely clamped together during a snog.
Fall into this trap and your kissing companion will feel like they are trying to post a big parcel through a little letter box when they try to saucily slip you some tongue.
It is not unusual to freeze up a bit in this way if you are nervous – but it can come across as though you are not very keen on being kissed.
At least, not by them.
Provided you are fully on board and enthusiastic about getting more closely acquainted, try to relax your jaw enough for your partner to delicately feel your breath against their face.
This is meant to be fun!
Pash it off
WHEN two humans rub together in any context, the occasional squelch and bump is bound to happen.
If you biff heads or let out an amusing slurp, giggle about it – then resume your romancing.
A slick: “Now, where were we?” can help you swiftly return to a sensuous and seductive vibe following an accidental comedy interlude.
Showing that a minor messy moment won’t make you totally freak out also demonstrates maturity.
And you never know – years later, you and your lover might still be telling the legendary tale of how your first kiss started off clumsy but became an all-time classic.
Get lippy
DON’T stay silent while snogging. Sighs and moans can be hot and are a great way of letting a partner know when they do something you like, so you can teach them your tastes.
If they need a nudge in the right direction, try phrases like: “Slow down, baby – I don’t want to miss a moment of this”; “Mmm, give me more of that”; or “Can I show you what really blows my mind?”
These won’t spoil the mood or hit their confidence.
Practise asking for what you want in a kiss. A partner who loves to listen and learn provides a great foundation for successful sexiness later down the line, if that is where you both want things to go.
PDA
NOT everyone is into public displays of affection. They might find it hard to enjoy a kiss if they feel like they have an audience.
The best kisses come when you are both involved, comfortable and confident.
So if you want to kiss on a date, try to find a quiet, cosy spot offering a little privacy.
When we get close during a snog, we can really tell how a partner smells.
Some studies suggest that on a subliminal level, inhaling their odour kissing lets us assess if their immune system can fight diseases our own cannot, making them a good future mate.
But nerves can make us sweat more, so use a decent anti-perspirant when getting ready.
Kettle kissing
MAKE a point of kissing and caressing your partner any time you make a cuppa.
Give the kiss your full concentration. Even for busy couples, this is an easy way of adding romance to mornings and afternoons.
Snogging only at bedtime can give the impression you only want sex when kisses can be a connecting, comforting, caring activity to savour all on their own.
Try kissing after a sip of hot mulled wine, warm herbal tea or with a chip of ice melting in your mouth.
Snogging is often viewed as an “entry level” activity that we move on from. But see what happens if you act like teenagers and spend 15 minutes or half an hour just making out.
Limp lettuce
YOU know how the green leaf that comes on a beefburger is limp, wet, soggy . . . and a bit pointless?
You don’t want your smooching to be like that.
If things are getting a bit sloppy, gently pulling back and making sexy eye contact will give you a chance to subtly swallow excess saliva.
Don’t let your hands just hang about like a sad salad.
Use them to softly stroke your partner’s jawline, cup their face lovingly, run your fingers through their hair or caress their body.
However, be sure you respect their boundaries and don’t rush to make things X-rated too soon. Avoid being gropey, grabby, pokey and jabby.