I am divorcing emotionally and physically abusive husband and still feel bad

DEAR DEIDRE: AFTER 15 years of marriage, I finally plucked up the courage to report my husband’s abuse when he turned on my son for the first time. So why do I feel so bad for him? I knew then I had to face up to the reality that the violence would only get worse. […]

DEAR DEIDRE: AFTER 15 years of marriage, I finally plucked up the courage to report my husband’s abuse when he turned on my son for the first time.

So why do I feel so bad for him?

I knew then I had to face up to the reality that the violence would only get worse.

I am 43, he is 46 and our two sons are ten and 13.

My husband always had a temper and would turn violent and emotionally abusive towards me, especially after drinking.

Up until that point, I always forgave him – after all, I loved him and he always apologised eventually.

That day, the boys came home early from a party and walked into the kitchen to see him shoving me up against the cupboards with both hands around my neck.

My eldest is half the size of his dad but he flew at him, shouting for him to “Get off Mum!”.

My husband had been drinking and turned his sights on my son – pinning him up against the wall, with his feet off the ground. It was terrifying.

I phoned the police that night and he was arrested.

He has moved out and I’ve filed for a divorce. He still contacts me and apologises, begging for forgiveness. I worry I over-reacted.

DEIDRE SAYS: Never doubt yourself on this decision. He emotionally and physically hurt you and your children.

I know you love him but you and your children deserve better than this.

Please don’t let him back into your life because it’s not safe.

NEXT IN TODAY’S DEAR DEIDRE My wife tried to commit suicide and I don’t know how to help her through this

READ DEIDRE’S PHOTO CASEBOOK Dan notices his girlfriend is a bit of an exhibitionist

GET IN TOUCH How the page works and how to contact us