The sound of people eating makes me SO angry I wear headphones for Christmas dinner
WE’VE all got that one annoying relative who eats Christmas dinner so loud that it makes us want to put ear plugs in to block them out.
But one woman has revealed how she has to wear headphones to block out the sound of others eating, due to how angry it makes her.
Louise Lansbury said that Christmas dinner is the only meal she will eat with her family due to a condition that fills her with rage when people eat.
The 32-year-old suffers with misophonia, which means she is extremely sensitive to sound.
Misophonia is a medical condition, affecting up to one in five people.
It’s an allergy or phobia of certain sounds and those who suffer with it will have a stress reaction when they hear certain sounds.
While Louise, who works in lettings, struggles with lots of different noises, other people eating causes her particular difficulty.
She explained that she’s always had very sensitive hearing and that things always seemed louder to her than others around her.
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“As I got older, I realised that certain sounds started to make me feel angry, in the last 10 years I have found this anger turns to rage.
“On discovering misophonia as a condition, I had no doubt that this is what I have been experiencing since a young age.
“I avoid eating with people at all costs, my rage builds up instantly, and if I don’t remove myself from the situation I could lash out.
“Simply put, when someone is eating (they don’t even have to be next to me) It’s like they are directly next to my ear at full volume.”
While it was a struggle for her to deal with the condition growing up, she learned how to cope with it as she has gotten older.
She added: “When I became angry I would act up as a child, I would lash out, fight with my sibling, run to my room and stay there in silence.
“Becoming older, I have learned to control the anger and rage, I simply walk away.”
WHAT IS MISOPHONIA?
MISOPHONIA is a medical condition, affecting up to one in five people.
Dr Melanie Smart, a Clinical Psychologist from Chichester, West Sussex, says of the condition: “It is an allergy or phobia of certain sounds. Those with it suffer a stress or sometimes angry reaction when they hear certain noises.
“It tends to be human noises but it can include things like ticking clocks or the buzzing of electricity. The jury is out on whether it is a genetic condition and research continues to see if it is caused by an auditory or neurological problem in the brain. It is often misunderstood or not taken seriously.
“People think those who have it just don’t like the sound or are rude or oversensitive. But sufferers describe experiencing distress or physical discomfort. Misophonia can make people very intolerant of others to the point where families become fractured.
“Partners and family members can feel rejected and wounded and the person suffering can feel very angry. There are things you could do which might help. You could wear noise-cancelling headphones or play music to create a distraction. These won’t solve the problem. Treatment is needed, but in the short term it might take the stresses away.
“Don’t worry if you have to eat or sleep separately. Taking people away from the noise as much as possible will minimise stress. Talk to your partner, try to help them understand that it is a noise aversion and not just a person aversion.
“Say things such as, ‘The chewing noise is triggering my misophonia’, rather than, ‘Your chewing is making me feel angry.’ This way it is not personal. The key is recognising the problem and working on it together.
“Psychological intervention is advisable so if you have this, speak to a practitioner psychologist, especially if it is causing issues with your partner or family members. A variety of treatments may help.”
For most people, December means a countdown to spending precious time with family, but Louise says she spends weeks preparing for the meal that she has with her mum, dad and sister.
She said: “My anxiety builds up weeks before I know I will have to sit down, I request that music is played in the background, and If I still can’t cope I will put my headband on.
“I eat as quick as I can, then remove myself, normally going back into my room.”
Christmas is hard for Louise, but she does sometimes eat out with friends as the loud music in restaurants music can drown out their eating.
She said she also sometimes eats takeaway in the car with friends where she can play her own music.
Eating is her biggest trigger, but Louise admits that living with other people can be difficult for those with her condition.
She added: “It can be quite difficult some days, sometimes I can happily sit in silence in my room, other times I will have low music on, like I have on now. But I live in a house with three others, my family. So as you can imagine there is a lot of background noise.
“Everything I hear is amplified, from already loud slamming doors, to even noises that are meant to be quiet, I am constantly on edge with my misophonia. It gives me great anxiety, which doesn’t help as I also have borderline personality disorder.”
Because of her condition, Louise struggles with relationships and said she isn’t as close with her parents as she would like and that with previous partners, she has learned to put music on in order to distract her from the sounds that irritate her.
Although she is not currently receiving treatment, she uses low music, her bluetooth headband and a grounding technique called butterfly breathing, causing a sound in her ears that helps with her condition.
‘CONSTANTLY ON EDGE’
She said: “It makes a rumbling noise in my ears, I have no idea how I do it, but it works.
“I use this in extreme situations as doing it too long can give me a headache and can hurt the inside of my ears.”
Louise is now working with the British Tinnitus Association to raise awareness of the condition and wants more people to understand what she lives with.
She added: “I feel (but don’t actually know if it is true) that people think that I am making it up, being oversensitive by choice, but I am really not.
“This affects me so badly every day. I’m constantly on edge, constantly thinking there will be a loud noise any minute.
“To those who don’t know what it feels like to have misophonia, try having your TV, radio or anything that produces sound turned all the way up, constantly.
“Try having someone eat next to your ear – with their mouth open, Imagine if every single sound you hear was amplified, turned up to 11, now imagine trying to live with it, it doesn’t turn off.
“I don’t get days off. If you know someone who does have sensitive hearing, just be respectful, don’t try to eat or purposely do things quieter, you’ll just feel silly and we don’t want that.
“Respect, that’s the only thing I ask for.”