My MBE’s not for me… it’s for women who were killed by their partners, says Mel B
MEL B admits she was so shocked to receive her MBE that she burst into tears.
The Spice Girl, awarded the gong for her work as patron of domestic violence charity Women’s Aid, also reveals her mum Andrea thought she was in “big trouble” after the official letter dropped on her mat.
In an exclusive interview with The Sun from her cosy new home in Leeds after moving out of her mum’s, the singer says: “My mum called me to say a registered letter from Her Majesty’s Service had arrived.
“She said, ‘Have you done something wrong, you’ve got an official letter from the Government’.
“She rushed round looking really worried. I had no idea what it was.
“I opened it and read it but I just couldn’t take it in. My mum was standing there saying, ‘Is everything all right?’ but I couldn’t speak for ages, then I just burst into tears. I felt so shocked and emotional.”
Mel added: “I went through a horrendous abusive marriage which nearly killed me.
“I got out of it and ever since I’ve tried to help other women — and men — who have been through or are going through abuse in whatever shape or form.
“And there was this letter saying the Prime Minister had spoken to the Queen about giving me an MBE.
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“I thought about all the women I’ve met over the past few years who have been through terrible situations, women who have died, women who are still suffering. This, for me, was all about them. It still is.”
Drink and drugs
Melanie, who has appeared as a judge on TV shows including The X Factor and America’s Got Talent, moved back home from Los Angeles to Leeds from LA two years ago after finally walking out on her abusive ten-year marriage to TV producer Stephen Belafonte.
But it was her decision to write her painfully frank autobiography about her years of abuse, called Brutally Honest and serialised in The Sun in 2018, that completely changed the course of her life.
The 46-year-old says: “I felt compelled to tell my story and to be as honest as possible about what went on within my marriage, which seemed perfect to the outside world.
“I was a Spice Girl. I stood for Girl Power then I met a man I thought he was Prince Charming, but little by little he destroyed my confidence, isolated me from friends and family and made me feel I was so useless and ugly, that I was better off dead.”
She describes in the book how she sank so low she self-medicated with drink and drugs and was rushed to hospital by her security team in 2014 when she took an overdose on the eve of The X Factor semi-finals.
She was on the judges’ panel alongside Simon Cowell, Louis Walsh and Cheryl Cole.
Melanie also told how she suffered PTSD flashbacks from her abusive marriage and felt horrendous guilt over her three daughters, Phoenix, 22, Angel, 14, and ten-year-old Madison, who lived through the chaos of that relationship.
She says: “I felt I’d stripped myself bare in that book and I also worried it would ruin my career.
“But in 2018 so many publishers turned it down because they didn’t feel it was an issue that people wanted to read about. Domestic violence still felt like a taboo, a conspiracy of silence.
“I was even told the book couldn’t be published because I clearly wasn’t ‘over’ my experiences — but it takes decades to get over abuse.”
Once the book was published, The Sun asked to serialise it and introduced the singer to the organisation.
“They changed my life,” says Melanie. “I went to meet women at a refuge in Leeds.
“We sat on the floor and I asked everyone to tell their story. It was hard to hold back the tears because their story was my story.
“So much of the shame I’d felt about everything, from self-medicating to losing my family, started to lift because I realised how many other women go through exactly the same thing.”
Since becoming Patron of Women’s Aid in November 2018, Mel has become a huge force in the charity, raising money and awareness, speaking at events, visiting refuges and collaborating with classical musician Fabio D’Andrea on an emotional modern dance film.
She was invited to No10 to work on a bill to ensure women fleeing violent homes had access to financial support. When the Spice Girls toured in 2019 she invited groups of survivors and Women’s Aid workers to every single concert.
She says: “Receiving that letter telling me about the MBE . . . it was the first time I thought that I’d done something.
“Not as a Spice Girl, but as Melanie Brown — this working-class, mixed-race kid from Leeds who has always done her own thing, regardless.
“That made me feel incredibly proud of myself, of all women who’ve been through similar experiences and of all the people who have helped me along this path.
“When I wrote my book it wasn’t a subject people wanted to talk about and I hope I’ve helped to change that by speaking out about it.
“It has become a huge issue, which is terrible in one way but great in another, because finally we are acknowledging it. Finally we are raising the issue of violence towards women.
“We’ve been through lockdowns where the police have admitted domestic violence is a tsunami and what you hear about, what is reported, is just the tip of the iceberg.”
Melanie, who has spent the past few years reunited with her family and consolidating relationships with her mum and daughters, says the person she most wanted to tell about the MBE was her father, Martin, who died in 2017.
She explains: “When you get that letter from the Prime Minister, it says very clearly that you cannot let anyone know you are receiving an award.
“I had to tell my mum because she was so worried when I burst into tears, but she was sworn to secrecy.
“The next day I woke up and knew I had to tell my dad. I drove to the graveyard where he is buried and stood there with my hand on his headstone, crying and telling him that his daughter was going to get an MBE.
“My dad worked in a factory all his life. When the Spice Girls happened, he never really cared about the fame — I was still his daughter, but this would have made him so incredibly proud.
“He died from myeloma (a type of bone marrow cancer) after an eight-year illness and on his deathbed I flew from LA to see him after being estranged for so many years, and I promised him I would leave my husband, which I did within the month.
“So apart from all the women I want to dedicate this award to, I also want to dedicate it to a good man: My dad.
“He started the journey I will be on for the rest of my life, trying to do as much as I can to raise awareness for domestic abuse.”