My partner doesn’t understand that foreplay is more than me rubbing his bits

DEAR DEIDRE: MY partner’s idea of foreplay is to grab my hand and put it on his bits. He’s always been the same – a rubbish lover. He’s 40 and we recently got back together after splitting up for two years. I’m 39 and he’s the only man I’ve ever loved. We have a 12-year-old […]

DEAR DEIDRE: MY partner’s idea of foreplay is to grab my hand and put it on his bits.

He’s always been the same – a rubbish lover.

He’s 40 and we recently got back together after splitting up for two years.

I’m 39 and he’s the only man I’ve ever loved. We have a 12-year-old son.

We met up again at his cousin’s wedding. We sat together in church and then stayed together all day.

By the following week, we were dating and he moved back in soon after – but we’re back in the same rut.

He never flirts with me. He ignores my saucy texts. I’ve told him I want to be desired but he doesn’t get it.

I’m now refusing him pleasure because I need him to see that I want some attention too.

My son would be heartbroken if we split up again.

DEIDRE SAYS: Ah yes – the old sledgehammer approach!

Some men don’t realise their technique is too clumsy. It’s because men tend to respond to physical touch alone, while women need mental stimulation too.

The biggest sex organ is the brain so ask your ex to warm you up with some sexy thoughts and intentions first.

Explain that by going slowly, you’ll be a lot more likely to get in the mood.

In a quiet moment, get him to read my support pack, How To Thrill A Woman In Bed.

And when sex is on the cards, tell him you are taking the lead. Guide his hands and don’t have full sex until you’re both ready.

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