I gave my twins my last name without their dad’s input – he hates it but I refuse to change, I have my reasons
NAMING a baby is a high-stress situation on its own, and things get even harder when your ex-partner is not keen on your choices. A 23-year-old female who posted on Reddit is not budging when it comes to the name of her twins. As stated in her post, the pregnancy was planned and she and […]
NAMING a baby is a high-stress situation on its own, and things get even harder when your ex-partner is not keen on your choices.
A 23-year-old female who posted on Reddit is not budging when it comes to the name of her twins.
As stated in her post, the pregnancy was planned and she and the dad were engaged at the time.
Despite being the one to push for the pregnancy, the dad, unfortunately, left her when she was 14 weeks pregnant.
During her pregnancy, they had minimal contact outside of custody talks and pregnancy updates.
The dad fought for custody and aimed for 0 percent with visitation and parental rights.
Leading up to her delivery, the last time the woman and the father of her twins talked was three days before her c-section.
Despite knowing the birth date and location of the birth, the dad was not present and didn’t even show up to see the babies when they were in the NICU for two weeks.
As a result, the woman decided to pick the baby names on her own since she and her ex-fiance had never gotten to the stage of naming their kids.
Along with naming her children, the woman opted to give them her last name as well, as she would be the one going to appointments and raising them.
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Three weeks after the babies were born and had been taken home by their mother, their father suddenly turned up.
He asked what the babies were named, and when he was told, he stated that they didn’t “look like their names” and that the names were “stuck up.”
He tried to emphasize this by saying their names along with his last name. He was quickly corrected when the mother of his children informed him that the babies had taken on her surname.
The dad was highly upset and things were tense.
He demanded she change their names, but the woman stuck to her guns and said no.
He suggested a compromise of combining their last names and the fed-up mother still said no.
She told him that “a parent that fights for 0 percent custody of their kids doesn’t show much concern or care about said kid, especially since there are no physical/mental reasons to not be able to parent.”
He responded stating that she was “unreasonable and unhinged.”
The woman then told the twins’ unrelenting father that paying child support was the bare minimum, and if he wanted a say in their names, he “should’ve shown up/called when they were born and not waited three weeks to even ask what [his] own kids’ names were.”
Reddit users in the comments section were on the mother’s side.
One stated: “You’re right that normally names are a two-yes situation, but your case is not normal. Your ex doesn’t get to show up three weeks after the birth and start making demands. If I were you I would refer all his calls to your lawyer and don’t even worry about his nonsense.”
Another chimed in: “0 percent custody, 0 percent rights. He fought for this and now doesn’t like how it tastes. Refer him to your lawyer. He’s the crazy and unhinged one.”
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“I had this exact scenario with my first child. The father dipped out after finding out, wasn’t there when he was born, and didn’t see him for over a week after… I figured since I would be the one raising him I would name him and give him my last name,” said a commenter who had been in a similar situation.
“Once he decided he wasn’t going to be involved, he forfeited any right to being involved in any decisions regarding your children,” another unforgiving user stated.
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