My husband is convinced I’ve cheated on him while he’s been in prison
DEAR DEIDRE: MY husband is in jail and is jealous of my friendship with another man. He won’t believe I haven’t cheated. I am 37 and he is 40. He has been in prison for five years for a crime he swears he did not commit. I believe he is innocent. He has another three […]
DEAR DEIDRE: MY husband is in jail and is jealous of my friendship with another man. He won’t believe I haven’t cheated.
I am 37 and he is 40. He has been in prison for five years for a crime he swears he did not commit. I believe he is innocent.
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He has another three years to serve.
Although I visit him and speak to him regularly, I get lonely. But I’ve never been unfaithful.
A few months ago, I met a guy at work and we became friends. He is 35.
We started meeting for coffee or drinks.
I didn’t think there was any harm in it, but I didn’t tell my husband as I didn’t think I needed to.
Then my new friend broke up with his girlfriend and admitted he had feelings for me.
I tried to brush it off, and kept telling him I was married and that we could only ever be friends.
Since then, I’ve cooled things with him, although we still chat.
But I confided in a friend. She told her partner – who is a mate of my husband’s – and he said if I didn’t tell him, he would.
So I told my husband, who went absolutely mad.
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He says he feels he can’t trust me and he makes me feel like a terrible person.
I don’t know what to do.
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DEIDRE SAYS: Five years is a long time to wait for someone.
You are entitled to a social life, whether with male or female friends.
But, while unfair, your husband’s reaction is understandable given his circumstances.
All you can do is to keep talking – and writing – to him and making it clear you have done nothing wrong.
Get support from PACT (prisonadvice.org.uk, 0808 808 2003), a helpline for the families of prisoners.