Mother-in-law thinks our nephew’s gay and blames us for giving him “girls’ toys”

DEAR DEIDRE: MY husband’s mum is convinced our nephew is gay – and blames my sister-in-law because he was allowed to play with “girls’ toys” as a child.

I’m 41 and my husband is 45.

We idolise our niece and nephew – my brother-in-law’s kids.

Our nephew is 15 and he is effeminate in his manner. But he is who he is, as far as we are concerned.

We were at a family gathering recently and I heard my husband’s mother talking to a friend, slagging off our nephew’s mum.

She said it was her fault “her son is gay”, because he was allowed to enjoy Disney films, dressing up and playing with dolls as a young kid.

I was incensed and stepped in, saying: “I don’t think it really happens like that.” But my husband pulled me away, telling me to leave it.

I am so mad. Our nephew is the loveliest boy and we don’t know where his sexuality lies, nor do we care.

But I feel like cutting my mother-in-law out of my life because of her old-fashioned attitude.

DEIDRE SAYS: Yes, I get it. But I doubt you’ll change her opinion.

Older generations were brought up often with different values and myths, which would never be believed now.

Our sexuality is innate in us all and not something we can choose.

Try to tolerate your mother-in-law. But if she brings your nephew’s sexuality up again, say that whatever he decides is his business and you will still love him.

Then change the subject.