I don’t think my girlfriend will ever trust me again after I cheated on her

DEAR DEIDRE: HAVING an affair was the biggest mistake of my life.I can’t believe I’ve been stupid enough to throw away the love of my life for a fling. I’m a 26-year-old guy and was with my 25-year-old girlfriend, who I met at university, for five years. But two months ago, she broke up with […]

DEAR DEIDRE: HAVING an affair was the biggest mistake of my life.I can’t believe I’ve been stupid enough to throw away the love of my life for a fling.

I’m a 26-year-old guy and was with my 25-year-old girlfriend, who I met at university, for five years.

But two months ago, she broke up with me after discovering I’d been having a four-month affair with a friend I’ve known since school.

I strayed because I felt pressured to get married and have babies, and I was nowhere near ready.

The other girl meant nothing. She just reminded me of my fun, single life. We’d meet during the day for sex at my flat or hers and

Afterwards there was no hanging around — we’d both got what we wanted.

Once my girlfriend found out — a mutual friend told her — she threw me out.

It took me a few days but I soon realised what an idiot I’d been and how much I loved her.

I kept on calling and messaging her, telling her I missed her, but she said she wasn’t ready to talk.

Eventually, she agreed to talk things through properly.

She invited me over and my heart leapt when I saw her. I was so nervous, I had butterflies and took her favourite perfume as a gift.

We had a good conversation, during which I apologised again and tried to explain my actions.

I promised I knew I was now ready to settle down with her.

Then we started kissing and ended up having sex. I even stayed over.

But she says her instinct tells her she can’t trust me anymore.
I’m not sure what to do.

Part of me wants to forget about her, so I can move on and stop getting hurt, while the other part is desperate to win her back.

But I don’t know if she’ll ever be ready to forgive me.

DEIDRE SAYS: Your ex-girlfriend is deeply hurt and, understandably, no longer trusts you.

It’s possible that she may change her mind and give you a second chance.

However, it’s not easy to rebuild trust, once it’s gone.

You have to be 100 per cent sure you really are ready for commitment, and she is right for you, that you’re not just missing what you can no longer have.

That means being honest with yourself and with her.

Grand gestures like sending presents are meaningless. It’s time and effort that will show her you mean what you say.

Read my support pack, Cheating, Can You Get Over It? and keep communicating with her.