My daughter’s abusive boyfriend is awful – how do I convince her to leave?
DEAR DEIDRE: WHY my daughter stays with her abusive boyfriend I’ll never know. But I’m worried about her mental state. She’s 23, and I’m her 62-year-old mum. He’s 28, and they’ve been dating on and off for the last two years. From our first meeting, I didn’t like him. He was arrogant and patronising. He […]
DEAR DEIDRE: WHY my daughter stays with her abusive boyfriend I’ll never know. But I’m worried about her mental state.
She’s 23, and I’m her 62-year-old mum. He’s 28, and they’ve been dating on and off for the last two years.
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From our first meeting, I didn’t like him. He was arrogant and patronising.
He is constantly criticising and gaslighting my daughter.
For example, he often disappears for days at a time on booze and drug-fuelled benders with his mates.
My daughter gets worried sick when she can’t get hold of him.
But instead of seeing this as a normal response he calls her needy and a “drama queen”.
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Her confidence is shot because he is always putting her down.
How do I convince my daughter that she’d be way better off without him?
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DEIDRE SAYS: Sadly, part of raising children is letting them make their own decisions, even if we don’t agree with them.
And you can’t help someone that doesn’t want it.
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Just keep reminding her that you are there to support her – that’s key, as she’ll need you when, potentially, she decides to leave.
I’m sending you my packs, Abusive Partner? and Addictive Love? which may help her realise that she doesn’t have to put up with her boyfriend’s behaviour.