The love of my life is engaged to another man and I want to stop the wedding

DEAR DEIDRE: THE love of my life is engaged to another man. I think she’s making a mistake, I want to stop the wedding.

We’ve kissed a few times, and I can’t stop thinking about her.

She is 27 and I’m 28. We met six months ago at a friend’s party and hit it off instantly.

Talking to her was so easy and we made each other laugh non-stop.

The fact she was gorgeous, with huge brown eyes, didn’t escape my notice either.

I assumed she was single like me, until my friend set me straight.

I remember feeling gutted because there was something special between us — a chemistry you don’t find often.

Since then, I’ve seen her several times, generally when we’re out with mutual friends. After a few drinks, she’s always flirty.

A couple of weekends ago, she seemed keen to talk, so I offered to walk her home from the pub.

She was quite drunk and confessed that she was having doubts about her wedding.

Now, I’ve met her fiancé a couple of times, and I can’t see the attraction.

He’s dull, not that good-looking and doesn’t make her laugh like I do.

I listened and said she had to do what was right for her — I was trying to be a gentleman.

We somehow ended up kissing on the lips. That turned into a passionate kiss. It was the best kiss of my life.

Afterwards, she apologised and said she shouldn’t have done it.

But it’s happened again since. We can’t help ourselves.

There are only a few weeks until she’s married. It feels like the countdown to doom.

I fantasise about getting up at her wedding and shouting “Me!” when they ask if anyone has any objection to the marriage.

It’s not just because I want her for myself. I think she’ll be very unhappy if she marries the wrong man.

What should I do?

DEIDRE SAYS: She clearly fancies you too, and wouldn’t have kissed you if she was genuinely happy with her fiancé.

But it’s hard to know if she’s suffering from last-minute nerves or having serious second thoughts.

You don’t want to end up the “other man” in an affair, or the rebound guy.

Let her know you like her, but you need her to focus on her relationship and work out whether she should be getting married at all. Explain you can’t be a part of that decision.

Then comes the difficult bit – you need to distance yourself from her until she decides.

If that means getting hitched, to save upset all around, you have to let her go and move on with your life.

Only if she decides to walk away from her fiancé should you consider a relationship.

My support pack, Your Lover Not Free, might be helpful for you.