My daughter ruined my wedding dress for her own day without permission – I’m furious but she thinks I’m overreacting
WEDDING planning is rarely ever drama-free. Although you hope for the best, when high emotions and high spending is involved, there’s bound to be some bumps in the road. One father said he had a major fight with his daughter about her wedding dress – which was a family heirloom. Posting to Reddit, he explained that […]
WEDDING planning is rarely ever drama-free.
Although you hope for the best, when high emotions and high spending is involved, there’s bound to be some bumps in the road.
One father said he had a major fight with his daughter about her wedding dress – which was a family heirloom.
Posting to Reddit, he explained that his wife made her wedding dress with her own mother years ago.
“It’s very sentimental to her and she was very proud of it.”
Because of the dress’s special meaning, the wife always said she would love for her children to wear it at their own weddings.
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“We have 3 daughters (34, 30, 25) and 1 son (28).
“My wife made it known that the dress was not to be altered, except to be taken in/let out so it could be kept and re-worn.”
While the youngest daughter chose not to wear it, the others did.
“Our daughter-in-law wore it for her reception and our son held it up against him for some pre-wedding bridal pictures so he wasn’t left out…he totally rocked it. Oldest daughter also wore it for her wedding.”
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The middle daughter, Olivia, was next in line, with her wedding set to take place in the beginning of August.
“We’ve offered some financial contributions to all our children towards either school, a wedding, or a house down payment. Olivia has asked for help paying for her wedding.”
A few months back, Olivia asked her mother to borrow the famous dress and her mother approved, giving it to her with enough time to ensure it was properly tailored.
“This week, Olivia asked me to go with her to pay some vendors. One of the stops was the tailor shop for a final fitting and to pay the seamstress.
“Olivia was really nervous, but I figured it was just usual pre-wedding jitters and excitement.”
Unfortunately, that was not the reason for Olivia’s apprehension.
“The dress Olivia came out in was not at all her mother’s dress.
“It was a completely different dress with parts of her mother’s gown added to it.
“She took the straps, the sash, the train, and the embroidered top skirt and had it added to this new dress.”
The father, at first confused, asked his daughter what the hell she had done.
“Olivia’s reasoning was that she was the last of our kids to get married so there wasn’t anyone else to wear it, and she made sure to instruct that they keep the original dress to be returned to her.
“I told her that’s not the same, she knows it, and the dress was never hers to do with what she wanted.”
The father was furious, forcing Olivia to go home and tell her mother what she had done.
“My wife was devastated. I have since canceled the payments I made that day and told her I won’t be paying another cent towards her wedding. She and her fiancé can figure it out.”
The family, however, was divided on who was in the right.
“Our youngest daughter thinks I’ve gone overboard, knowing Olivia planned her wedding with our help in mind and without it, she can’t finish paying for everything.
“Olivia’s future in-laws also agree with that – they can’t afford to help and suggested I should pay, and then we just go low contact with Olivia.”
But the father couldn’t get over the betrayal.
“I’ve told them both that Olivia took something irreplaceable from her mother for her own vanity.
“I know we originally offered help with the wedding, but I think Olivia’s actions warrant canceling that offer.”
Reddit users mostly took to the man’s defense:
“That was hugely disrespectful to your wife. The dress didn’t even belong to your daughter! If they can’t afford the big wedding without your help, they can downsize the wedding,” one person said.
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“It doesn’t matter that your daughter is the last one to use the dress – it doesn’t give her the right to destroy/alter it. She should have discussed it with your wife first, and then abided by whatever decision your wife made. She arbitrarily made the decision to ruin the dress,” added another.
“She might not even have been the last! What if there was a granddaughter that was especially close to her, or the mother and her husband wanted to renew their vows and she used the dress?” a third chimed in.
