My best mate is going on a cycling holiday and hasn’t invited me
DEAR DEIDRE: MY best mate is going on a cycling holiday with a guy he once fell out with. But whenever I have suggested a break together, my friend says he can only manage the time once he retires. I am a 53-year-old single man. I’ve known my mate since school. He’s also 53, married […]
DEAR DEIDRE: MY best mate is going on a cycling holiday with a guy he once fell out with.
But whenever I have suggested a break together, my friend says he can only manage the time once he retires.
I am a 53-year-old single man. I’ve known my mate since school.
He’s also 53, married with two grown-up children and has a good job in finance.
He’s a kind, popular guy with lots of friends and we’re very different.
I’m a bit insecure, semi-retired, with no family and have probably placed him and his wife on a pedestal.
We only live half an hour away from one another, whereas many of his other friends are scattered around the country.
He goes on big cycling trips with these other friends, but I’m never asked.
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I can’t understand why we have never done a long-distance adventure together.
Am I just being silly to question the amount of time he can make for me?
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DEIDRE SAYS: Feeling left out or excluded is something we all experience at some time or another.
But perhaps this is a sign that you’ve been over-reliant on your friend.
Start building up your social life and meet lots of new people too.
My support pack Widening Your Social Scene has suggestions to get you started.
MORE FROM DEAR DEIDRE
If you aren’t sure whether your friend is just too busy or not interested in you any more, then ask.
Be honest. Let him know you miss him and ask if everything’s OK between you.