I know I’m great in bed, so why is my girlfriend avoiding sex?
DEAR DEIDRE: I TAKE pride in my bedroom skills and ensure I really understand women’s pleasure, but now I think my girlfriend is playing games with me to avoid intimacy.
I’ve read the Kama Sutra, The Joy Of Sex and Come As You Are, as well as plenty of other related books.
I’ve only had three partners but all of them have said they were very satisfied with our sex life.
My second girlfriend had never orgasmed so I made it my mission to understand her body completely so we both could enjoy sex.
She trusted me and together we explored her body.
We both learned what she liked and didn’t, until we had a great time in bed.
I’ve been with my current girlfriend for seven years and we have a daughter of five.
She never had any issue with climaxing and we used to have sex five or six times a week at least.
We were so in tune with each other but now I feel like we are on completely different pages.
I do all the touchy-feely stuff that women love when it comes to sex, but I keep getting shown the red card.
She only ever wants sex, which is once in a blue moon, when I’m dog tired and falling asleep.
On the rare occasion she seems to be in the mood for a bit of a kiss and a cuddle, as soon as I go in close she shuts me down. I feel like she’s playing games.
We are both 31 now — I know we are parents but I’m far too young to give up sex.
Obviously when our daughter was born my girl didn’t want to know for a few months, which was fine.
Then our sex life picked up again but over the past year it’s dropped off a cliff.
I really want us to work together but I can’t live a sexless life.
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What can I do?
I came from a broken home and didn’t have the best start. I’m determined that it won’t be like that for my daughter.
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DEIDRE SAYS: A good sex life is about compromise.
If your girlfriend is playing games, coming on to you when she knows you won’t want sex, then it lets her off the hook, and that’s not fair.
You’re a couple, not just Mum and Dad, so explain to her how important it is for you to show her how much you love her.
Everyone has expectations about what is the “normal” number of times to have sex but it should be more about quality sex than quantity.
MORE FROM DEAR DEIDRE
Think about what would suit you and what you could change. Ask her what she would like too.
My support pack Different Sex Drives has great practical tips.