Do I tell my husband’s new younger woman he needs Viagra to get it up?
DEAR DEIDRE: MY husband had affairs throughout our marriage and has now left me for a woman half his age.
What she doesn’t know is he can’t perform without Viagra.
I’ve put up with his antics for nearly 30 years and even our kids don’t know why I tolerated his liaisons.
He’s 57 and this woman is 28 with two young children. I’m 52.
I’m so fed up with this final humiliation that I’m tempted to warn her she’d better make sure he’s stocked up on his little blue pills.
I’m a yoga teacher and I’ve always looked after myself.
My husband is an athletics coach and has always been a womaniser.
He had a fling years ago with the mother of one of his athletes.
I found a secret phone in his sports bag and the messages on it were from this mother — they were filthy.
He admitted the affair and we had some counselling but it wasn’t a success.
He didn’t engage in the sessions and during the third he announced: “We are done here.” Then he flounced out.
If I brought up this woman again he’d say, “It’s all in the past.”
But months later, he was up to his antics again. I found another secret phone with lots of messages from various women.
One morning, I flipped, accusing him of sleeping with anyone with a pulse.
He didn’t deny it but instead of being sorry, said he had to clear his head and walked out.
When he returned it was only to pick up some clothes, toiletries and his precious blue pills — of course.
We argued, with him blaming me for not showing him enough affection, but I never stopped loving him or offering him sex.
My kids say he has moved in with this younger woman.
What does she see in my old man who can’t get it up without help?
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I’ve been cast aside like a bit of old clothing while he takes on a trophy girlfriend.
He makes me feel like a failure.
Most read in Dear Deidre
DEIDRE SAYS: You’re not a failure, and he is the one with the issue.
He’s in a role where he’s looked up to and perhaps he has always had women falling at his feet, but he’s never really grown up.
You’ve put up with a lot for too long and now it’s time to learn to value yourself.
Trying to humiliate him may feel satisfying in the short term but won’t actually help you move on from this hurt.
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