I’m worried my mate is being controlled by his wife
DEAR DEIDRE: I’M worried my mate is being controlled and manipulated by his wife, and I don’t know how to help him.
Since he got into trouble with her for drinking too much on a night out with the lads, nobody has seen or heard from him.
I have been friends with this guy since university. He is 37, and his wife is 35.
He’s a great bloke and has never cheated on her, but she’s the jealous type and doesn’t like him drinking.
Since he met her, he has changed. He seems to have lost his confidence.
She likes to tell him what to do and gets angry a lot.
That night, he was loud and lairy, and woke up her and their kid when he got home.
I keep texting him to try to arrange another meet-up, but he doesn’t reply.
Some of the other lads have tried too.
It feels like she’s forbidden him from contacting us, or even confiscated his phone.
Either that, or she’s actually killed him and buried him under the patio.
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He’s a grown man and should be allowed to see his mates.
What can we do?
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DEIDRE SAYS: Maybe his wife gave him an ultimatum: Drinking with the lads or “me and your kids”.
Or perhaps he just wants to keep his head down for a while to keep the peace.
Unfortunately, without knowing more, all you can do is send him a message to say you are concerned and are there for him if he needs you.
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Maybe suggest he joins you in an activity that doesn’t involve drinking or just ask if he’d like a cuppa.
But if you’re worried he’s being abused, my support pack, Abusive Partner, will tell you how to help him