I don’t understand why my stepdaughter hates me so much
DEAR DEIDRE: SINCE my teenage stepdaughter came to live with me and my husband, she’s gone out of her way to make me miserable.
Every time she visits her own mum, she tells lies and slags me off.
She’s 13. I’m 35, her dad is 42 and her mum is 40.
I haven’t done anything mean to her. In fact, I treat her the same as my other children.
Yet if I so much as ask her to tidy her room, she acts like I have ruined her life.
She won’t join in with her younger step brothers and sisters and sulks in her bedroom instead of having meals with us.
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Her own mum didn’t want her but I took her in and treated her like my own.
I don’t understand why she hates me so much.
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DEIDRE SAYS: I doubt she hates you.
But she’s been rejected by her own mum and is probably scared it will happen again, so she’s protecting herself by testing your boundaries.
She’s likely also jealous of her step-siblings who have parents who love each other.
MORE FROM DEAR DEIDRE
Keep telling her you care about her. And try to be patient.
Read my support pack, Stepfamily Problems, for more advice.