I ditched my bridesmaids on my wedding day – it cost me a friendship but saved me thousands, so I have no regrets
WALKING down the aisle with an entourage of blushing bridesmaids is most brides’ dream.
But for newlywed Zoe Wells it sounded like a nightmare.
The 30-year-old marketing executive from Rushton, Northants, banned bridesmaids from her May wedding to husband Jordan, 29, a software engineer — to save cash and swerve any dramas.
And although her decision cost her a friendship, she says she doesn’t have any regrets and claims she saved hundreds of pounds.
She says: “I just couldn’t be bothered with bridesmaids and all that comes with them — I didn’t want the expense or the drama.
ELEPHANT IN ROOM
“First, there’s the cost of buying their dresses and flowers, then it’s expected the bride pays for their hair and make-up on the day. And the thank-you gifts afterwards. It’s never-ending.
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“They’re bound to have opinions on what the wedding should look like, too. The thought of having to pick the maid of honour is also stressful. I didn’t want any of it.”
Last week, Kat Williams, founder of Rock N Roll Bride magazine, said couples should avoid having too many bridesmaids if they want to prevent dramas.
And with the average price of a UK wedding costing £17,300 in 2021, couples are scaling back their plans because of the cost-of-living crisis.
But for most brides, having their pals by their side on their special day is par for the course.
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Loose Women panellist Stacey Solomon shared photos recently of her EIGHT bridesmaids from her wedding to Joe Swash, and Emmerdale actor Danny Miller’s wife Steph had six at their nuptials this month.
Zoe was adamant she didn’t want the same — and even decided against having a hen do.
She says: “When I told my best friend we were getting married abroad, followed by a party when we got back, I skimmed over the fact we weren’t having any bridesmaids at either celebration.
“We’d always planned to be bridesmaids at each other’s weddings, but when it came to it I didn’t want the stress.
“At first, I think she thought I just hadn’t chosen her as a bridesmaid, but when I said I wasn’t having any, it wasn’t mentioned again. Leading up to the wedding, it was like an elephant in the room whenever we were together.
“I’d waited years to get married and I knew that if I involved other people in the decision making, I wouldn’t have turned the wedding around as quickly as I did.
“Deep down, I think she was upset with my decision and even though she came to our UK celebration, we have drifted apart since. Two other friends who I probably would have had as bridesmaids, took the news better.”
Zoe knew she wanted to buck the traditional big white wedding trend and marry abroad when the couple got engaged last October after 13 years together.
And it wasn’t just bridesmaids she shunned.
At first, I think she thought I just hadn’t chosen her as a bridesmaid, but when I said I wasn’t having any, it wasn’t mentioned again. Leading up to the wedding, it was like an elephant in the room whenever we were together.
She says: “We paid £4k for an all-inclusive seven-night stay at a Sandals resort in St Lucia with the legal part of the wedding included.
“Although we said family and friends were more than welcome to come, they either couldn’t make it or they couldn’t afford it.
“On the day of the wedding, I was in the hotel room by myself and thought this is when the bridesmaids would have come into play to share the excitement. But I didn’t have any stress. My wedding planner was my wing woman, which I was happy with.
“We married and half an hour later, we were drinking cocktails by the pool.”
Back home, the couple invited 75 people to their second celebration at Horwood House Hotel in Milton Keynes, Bucks, costing around £5,000.
Zoe says it was a fraction of the cost if they had gone the whole hog. They paid for a buffet, ditched the best man, scrapped the seating plan, including the “top table”, and they didn’t have speeches.
She says: “Jordan’s dad Tony read our ‘vows’, while our dogs Harley and Jax took centre stage as ‘page boys’. And instead of an expensive sit-down three-course meal, we had a bbq-style buffet instead.
“The second ‘wedding’ was more Jordan’s idea than mine because he thought we might regret it if we didn’t celebrate with everyone.
CHEAPER CAKE
“I think the cost of doing the whole wedding at home would have been around £20k, which is ridiculous. It all mounts up.
“And the seating plan causes so much drama, so we created a board that said ‘Sit wherever makes you smile’.
“You’re usually stuck with your mum and dad at the top table and you can’t even chat with guests. I didn’t mention to my cake maker that the cake was for a wedding as I knew they’d add a zero to the price.
I think the cost of doing the whole wedding at home would have been around £20k, which is ridiculous. It all mounts up.
“We paid £150 for a two-tiered cake, about three times less than you’d usually pay. It wasn’t spectacular, but tasted amazing.
“I also chose a photographer who didn’t usually do weddings, which was half the price of a wedding photographer. We were really happy with the photos because they were natural, not cringe and staged.”
Zoe says that, while most people accepted their “rogue” decision to have two celebrations, it came as a shock to her mum and Jordan’s mum.
She says: “It took them some time to get used to the idea of a second wedding, because we were already married. They didn’t understand why we’d want to go to St Lucia when we could do it here but they came round eventually.”
The couple didn’t bother with hen and stag parties either.
“The most recent hen do I was invited on would have cost me almost £300, so I said no. They’re extortionate and I did not want to be a part of it. Stag dos aren’t Jordan’s thing either.”
Now happily married, Zoe feels more couples should marry however they choose.
“Weddings are a money-making scheme and the big traditional wedding is a waste of time, stress and drama.
“I’m glad we did it the way we wanted to.”
‘COUPLES WHO SCRIMP ON THEIR BIG DAY WILL REGRET IT’
LEANNE Woodward spent £30k tying the knot four years ago and says couples who cut too many corners to save money will regret it.
The 34-year-old wedding planner, who lives in Lincoln with husband Matt, 42, a project manager and their three-month-old daughter, says: “Weddings are expensive and I understand people who avoid the big white wedding because they want to save money, but you don’t want to regret anything.
“If you go overseas and the most important people can’t attend, you will look at photos and wish they had been there.
“If I said I wanted to get married abroad, my mother-in-law and grandparents wouldn’t have been able to go – I wanted them at my big day.
“I had a big white wedding in a barn with seven bridesmaids and seven groomsmen, plus 120 guests.
“We had everything – the cars, the band, the photographer. It was a lot of money, but I don’t regret it.
“Weddings that have been scaled back too much aren’t as enjoyable. There’s no cutlery or table cloths, and there isn’t enough food. One wedding, we only had one glass of fizz.
“If there’s no favours on the tables, no DJ and not enough food, it can be dull. A cheap wedding isn’t a good look.
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“Budget weddings can be beautiful – but only if they’re done right.
“Cut back on the details if you must, but don’t scrimp and then regret it.”