I want to leave my controlling husband but I can’t bear to tear our lives apart
DEAR DEIDRE: MY husband is so controlling he says I can only go to the gym when he comes home from work. But with four young children to look after, I am exhausted by then.
I am 34 and my husband’s 38. We have been together for 16 years. Our children are two, four, eight and nine.
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My husband lies to me about where he goes and who he is with.
He is always deleting texts from women at work and giving them lifts home. Plus he’s forever looking at women on social media apps.
I am deeply unhappy and want to leave – as I should have done a long time ago.
But I feel as though I would be betraying him by leaving after all this time together. His life would crumble, as would mine.
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I have spoken to him many times, but nothing changes.
He does what he wants and just expects me to stay at home with the children. I’m lost.
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DEIDRE SAYS: I’m sorry but I doubt this man will change and you deserve better treatment than this.
He doesn’t deserve your loyalty, and feeling guilty about leaving is a form of self-punishment, which you don’t deserve.
Get advice through the National Domestic Abuse Helpline (womensaid.org.uk 0808 2000 247)