My husband took out a £5k loan to pay for his OnlyFans addiction

DEAR DEIDRE: BEFORE we got married, I told my husband that if I caught him sexting other women again, I’d leave him.

And for eight years, I believed he had stopped his dirty little habit.

But last month, something in my gut told me to look through his phone again.

I’d only done it once before, and that was when I originally discovered text messages to various escorts.

When he was bathing our son, who is three, I took a peek at his phone.

At first, I was relieved. There were no text messages and no dating or escort apps.

Just as I was about to lock his phone, I spotted the Santander app.

We’ve both banked with another provider for years, so it didn’t make sense why he’d have that app.

It was easy to log on, as the fool has the same password for everything.

My mouth dropped open as I spotted the details of a £5,000 loan. He had been taking out cash and there was only £3,500 left.

After our son was in bed, I confronted him.

I told him that if he didn’t tell me the truth, I would leave with our son that night.

That’s when it came pouring out of him.

He had set up accounts on OnlyFans and other porn sites and had emptied his savings account, all £450 of it, paying for the subscriptions.

So then he took out the loan.

When I asked him why he’d let it get this bad, he said: “I don’t know. It’s like I’m a different person. I zone out.”

He is 45, I’m 39 and we have been married for eight years.

Part of me wants to leave because of the lies, and the fact he has spent money we could have used on our son’s future.

But another part of me wants to help him beat this, and get his finances back in order.

DEIDRE SAYS: The fact he can’t stop turning to these women suggests he may have some form of addiction.

It’s understandable you feel let down by his dishonesty – he lied about the money and the infidelity.

Your husband needs help to overcome this addiction otherwise your future relationship looks decidedly miserable.

Please encourage him to reach out to Pivotal Recovery (pivotalrecovery.org), a 60-day online programme to help those struggling with sex and porn addiction.

Perhaps if he can show you he is really trying to overcome this, you will want to try to move past it.

Consider talking to a counsellor to work through your feelings.

My pack How Counselling Can Help, shows where to find support.