I am more upset over the Queen’s death than when my mother died

DEAR DEIDRE: LOOKING at the Royal Family, so visibly upset by the death of the Queen, I feel like such a fraud for crying.

Why do I feel so moved by the death of someone I had never met and didn’t know?

I’ve always prided myself on being down to earth and I’m not a gushy person at all so why am I experiencing this grief that has crept up out of nowhere?

I am a 46-year-old woman and when my own mum died three years ago I didn’t react anywhere near as emotionally.

We weren’t close and in fact she treated me quite cruelly throughout my life; nothing I nor my children did was good enough, and she always put me down.

So why do I feel so strongly about the Queen – someone who has died peacefully and after a long and fulfilling life?

DEIDRE SAYS: You may not have met the Queen in person, but her constant and reassuring presence has been a thread running through your life.

It is entirely normal to feel grief for someone you have never met, because of course the Queen ded­icated her life to our nation and we all feel a closeness to her as a result.

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As we collectively grieve, as a nation, it is worth being aware this moving time can be triggering – especially for those living with unresolved guilt.

It would be worth contacting Cruse Bereave­ment Care (cruse.org.uk, 0808 808 1677), who offer bereavement support, to help process the death of your mum.