Love-rat husband wants a divorce and is threatening to make me homeless

DEAR DEIDRE: MY cruel husband has been playing me off against his mistress, trying to keep us both sweet.

Now I’ve had enough of his lies, he’s trying to get revenge by making me homeless.

He’s 43 and I’m 41. We have been married for 15 years and have a 12-year-old girl.

The first I knew about his affair was when he told me he was going away on a business trip, and he didn’t come home when he was supposed to.

After a week of frantic chasing, I learned he had moved in with another woman.

I was distraught and couldn’t sleep or eat. I lost two stone.

Then, just as I was starting to pull myself together, he announced he was coming back.

He told me he’d made a huge mistake and loved me. He cried about what a fool he’d been.

But it was all lies. He carried on seeing her. So I hired a private investigator to follow him.

One day, when he was supposed to be at a meeting, the PI told me he was at this woman’s house.

I rang him to tell him I knew and to leave. But again, he wore me down with sob stories.

Stupidly, after weeks of this, I took him back. He promised he would end it with her so we could make a go of our marriage.

A month later, she changed her Facebook status to “in a relationship” with him.

I threw him out again and sent her all of the begging messages he’d sent to me, so she would know what he was really like.

But he sweet-talked her into letting him back. Now he has filed for divorce and says he is going to sell our house and make me and our daughter homeless to get his own back.

I’m at my wits’ end. I cannot afford a solicitor.

DEIDRE SAYS: He has behaved appallingly, with little regard for your wellbeing – or your daughter’s.

His unreliable and dishonest character will have had a very negative impact and you really are better off without him drifting in and out of your life.

Counselling would help you work through your feelings.
And find some support through Tavistock Relationships (020 7380 1960, tavistockrelationships.org).

Don’t despair. Your husband can’t just divorce you and sell the house without your agreement.

You have rights, especially as you have a child.

My support pack, Thinking About Divorce, explains how to get help.

You should be able to get a free session with a local divorce solicitor.

Also contact your local Citizen’s Advice Centre (citizensadvice.org.uk) for free legal advice.