My friend is a hoarder and it’s driving me crazy

DEAR DEIDRE: I CAN’T cope with my friend’s clutter, but I don’t want to fall out with her.

She’s a hoarder and it’s beginning to drive me crazy. I’m at the point of not wanting to go round her house any more.

We’ve been friends for 20 years. I’m 50 and she is 52.

Her mental health is quite fragile and she has always been disorganised.

Lately, though, things seem to have spiralled out of control. She starts DIY projects without finishing them, so there are boards everywhere.

The living room is filled with boxes of rubbish, old newspapers and magazines, that she has never sorted through.

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Upstairs there are piles of clothes and books.

I find it really stressful being in that environment.

I want to say something but how do I broach the subject?

I think she has a serious problem and needs help.

DEIDRE SAYS: You need to be honest with her, because living like this can’t be good for her either.

Extreme hoarding can be a sign of depression, so ask if she needs support with anything, and give her details for Hoarding UK (hoardinguk.org).

You could also offer to help her sort through stuff together and find things to give to charity.

This will make it seem less daunting.