I can only become aroused if I’m dressed up as a woman

DEAR DEIDRE: I CAN only become fully aroused if I’m wearing women’s leggings and high-heeled boots.

I’ve been cross-dressing since I was in my teens and am now 52.

As the years have gone by, my urges have got stronger.

I’m not in a relationship. The only female company I have is through escorts, who don’t mind what I do.

Sometimes I pay them to have girly chats but other times I get them to humiliate me.

Hearing a woman tell me how ugly and weak I am really gets me going.

I like being tied up too, but over the last few months I’ve noticed I want to be hurt.

It’s so relieving. I’ve tried to stop, but how?

DEIDRE SAYS: Obtaining sexual pleasure from pain and humiliation is a type of fetish. If it’s done safely, it isn’t necessarily harmful.

Pain releases endorphins in the same way sex does. But your fetish is becoming a problem for you.

Finding humiliation a turn-on may tap into early unhappy experiences, and a specialist therapist can help.

Contact the College of Sexual and Relationship Therapists to find the right support (cosrt.org.uk, 0208 543 2707).

My support pack, Fetish Worries, can help too.