Controlling ex torments me by making it so hard to see our five-year-old daughter

DEAR DEIDRE: EVEN though we have now split up, my controlling ex is still trying to abuse me through our daughter.

For seven years, she treated me terribly.

She put me down, stopped me seeing my friends, spent all my money and got me into debt by secretly applying for credit cards in my name.

I’m 33 and she’s 30. Our daughter is five. I finally managed to get away from the destructive relationship last year.

When we broke up, my ex insisted our daughter lived with her.

I think it’s just for the money, as she palms her off on me whenever she can.

My daughter and I have a great relationship. But my ex will change arrangements last minute – making it hard for me to work, or see my new girlfriend.

If I say I can’t, she guilt trips me, and calls me a terrible dad.

I’d like to have zero contact with this woman, but I know that’s not possible.

DEIDRE SAYS: You sound like a great dad. Your ex probably hates the fact you’ve moved on, so she has less of a hold over you.

She’s enjoying making your life difficult again.

I think you now need to make formal arrangements to see your daughter, as it’s clear your informal agreement with your ex isn’t working.

Contact Families Need Fathers (fnf.org.uk, 0300 300 363). For legal advice, visit your local Citizen’s Advice (citizensadvice.org.uk).