I trained myself to orgasm quickly – now I can’t last more than a few minutes
DEAR DEIDRE: SINCE my wife has lost interest in sex, masturbating has become my only release.
I have conditioned myself to orgasm quickly so I don’t get caught – but now I can’t last longer than a few minutes.
I’m 35, she’s 32, and we’ve been married for five years. We barely have sex now, and when we do, the anticipation is too much for me.
She is so loving, but I worry that I’m the reason she doesn’t want to be intimate.
I try to restrain myself from masturbating, but it only makes things worse.
I feel like a failure. Is there something wrong with me?
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DEIDRE SAYS: Many men can reach climax quite quickly when on their own.
You may be suffering from premature ejaculation because the anxiety of getting caught has conditioned you to orgasm in haste.
It would be best to talk to your wife about your concerns so you can work through them together.
My support pack Solving Erection Problems has good advice and support.
A sex and relationship therapist could also help you both reconnect sexually.