No matter how hard I try I can’t stop sleeping with my married boss
DEAR DEIDRE: I’M having an affair with my married boss and no matter how hard I try to end it I always get pulled back in.
I’m 33, he is 45, and we started having sex two years ago.
When I joined the company a year before that, I was so excited to begin my dream marketing job after years of trying to get into the field.
On my first day when I was introduced, I remember being attracted to him almost instantly. He was exactly my type — tall, blond and handsome.
Initially I didn’t think anything more of it as he was married, but it quickly became apparent that he was attracted to me.
He would call me into his office to give me unnecessary jobs as an excuse to make conversation.
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I would often catch him staring at me from across the room, and I could feel the tension between us.
One night we were working late and he invited me for a drink.
He insisted on driving me home afterwards and we ended up having sex in the car — it was impossible to keep our hands off each other.
Ever since we have been sneaking around whenever we can.
While we agreed that it was just sex, my feelings developed and I’ve fallen in love with him.
He says he really cares for me, but will never leave his wife.
I don’t know what to do. I don’t want the affair to end, but I realise this is not good for me.
Every time I’ve tried to distance myself from him, seeing him at work has made it impossible to stay away.
How do I move forward?
MORE FROM DEAR DEIDRE
DEIDRE SAYS: This will continue until one of you stops it.
You know it’s not right, and while it’s understandable that you find it difficult to stay away, you must realise that he’s only holding you back.
Your feelings for him are preventing you from meeting someone new with whom you could share a future.
He’s your boss and in a position of power over you.
You wanted this job so much and won’t perform as well in the role if you’re distracted by this affair, which incidentally could ruin both your reputations at work.
It’s worth checking your company policy about office relationships as a higher up boss may not be happy if they find out.
I’m attaching my support pack Addictive Love which can help you to make the break.