I’ve had enough of my husband’s manipulative parents
DEAR DEIDRE: HAVING put up with them for almost a decade, I’ve had enough of my husband’s manipulative parents.
They have no respect for me or our relationship, and won’t look after our four-year-old daughter properly.
I’m 39 and my husband is 40. He is a loving partner and a brilliant dad, and we rarely argue, except when it comes to his mum and dad.
They have shared pictures of our daughter on social media, despite being repeatedly asked not to.
They’ll give her sweets and crisps instead of healthy food, let her stay up late watching unsuitable TV, and bad-mouth me to others, saying I’m a control freak.
My husband defends their behaviour and makes excuses for them. I get that he loves them and doesn’t know any different.
He’s tried talking to them, but they never change.
It’s got to the point where I no longer want them in my life.
My husband can see them, but I won’t be part of it.
I don’t want them to wreck my marriage.
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DEIDRE SAYS: It sounds like you’ve done all you can to make it work but now you have naturally had enough.
Fortunately, your husband is not like his parents and you have a good and loving marriage.
Cutting off contact is probably the right thing to do for your own sake.
It’s noble of you not to try to interfere in your husband’s relationship with them. But he may feel he wants your daughter to see her grandparents.
If so, perhaps you can insist on certain boundaries.
You can talk to someone about it at familylives.org.uk, and Stand Alone, for adults estranged from family members, can also help (standalone.org.uk).
