Sex is painful so I avoid it and my husband is not happy

DEAR DEIDRE: BOTH me and my husband are unhappy with our sex life.

We have always loved getting intimate but over the past year, it has become so painful for me.

I’m 51 and he’s 53.

It has become so bad that I avoid sex all together, or just pleasure him manually.

But it has become obvious that he isn’t satisfied, and he’s becoming pretty short- tempered with me.

I have explained to him that it now hurts – and while he was understanding to begin with, one year on he’s really very frustrated.

We are arguing more than ever – and for the first time in our relationship I’m worried that he may stray, because I’m not able to give him full sex any more.

Do I simply need to put up with the pain?

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DEIDRE SAYS: No. Sex should not be painful.

It isn’t unusual for sex to become uncomfortable for women during the perimenopause and menopause.

As hormone levels drop, women often experience vaginal dryness and a thinning of the vaginal tissues.

Both these factors can make penetration uncomfortable, and even painful for many women.

But many couples do have fulfilling and regular sex during and after the menopause.

Please see your GP, as HRT could help. My Menopause support pack will explain more.

Invest more time in foreplay and use lubricants – both will make sex more comfortable.