I cheated with my boyfriend’s dad – now I’m pregnant but don’t know who the dad is
DEAR DEIDRE: I MADE the biggest mistake of my life and had sex with my boyfriend’s dad – now I don’t know which of them is my unborn baby’s father.
My partner is 29 and I’m 28. We have been together for three years.
I’ve always got on well with his family and, when he went away to college to train as a police officer, they invited me to live with them so I wouldn’t be in my flat alone.
I slotted right in and helped with the cooking and shopping.
A month in, I started to notice my father-in-law would quite often watch me quietly and, when he looked at me, I’d get butterflies in my stomach.
My mother-in-law worked odd shifts as she was a carer and I found myself spending more time alone with my boyfriend’s dad.
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I was missing my fella terribly and don’t know what was wrong with me, but I started to fantasise about his dad.
One Friday night, we were alone in the house and a really sexy film came on the telly. It was weird watching it with him, and it felt more like we were a couple.
When it was time for bed, I used the bathroom then went to my room, hoping he would walk in. I couldn’t sleep and, when I heard a sound outside my door, I went to investigate.
My father-in-law was standing there. Without hesitating, I pulled him in and we had passionate sex.
But as soon as we had finished, it was as if the spell had been broken and I deeply regretted cheating.
The next day, his dad and I talked and agreed we’d never let anything like that happen again.
He seemed to feel just as bad as I did. But now I’ve discovered I’m pregnant and can’t be entirely sure who the dad is. I don’t know what to do.
MORE FROM DEAR DEIDRE
DEIDRE SAYS: First of all, you need to decide if you want to continue with this pregnancy before you think about sharing your concerns with either your boyfriend or father-in-law.
If you are determined to go ahead, you can have a DNA test done after the baby is born to establish who the dad is.
However, if you do decide to have this baby, please consider that you may face bringing the little one up alone.
Because even if you try to hide your infidelity, these sorts of family secrets often come out one way or the other.
You have a lot to consider and it would certainly help you to talk about your options with a counsellor.
Read my support pack, Unplanned Pregnancy, to help you work through your options.
Another, called How Counselling Can Help, would also be useful.