My husband’s version of being neighbourly is wrecking our marriage…
DEAR DEIDRE: HOW can I ever trust my husband when he has a nasty habit of having sex with our neighbours?
After the first time, I didn’t think it could get worse, but now history is repeating itself and I’m not sure I’ll ever be able to move on from this.
I’m 50, he’s 55 and we’ve been married for 22 years.
We have a grown-up daughter and for most of our marriage, he was the perfect husband.
But three years ago everything changed when he decided to have an affair with our 35-year-old neighbour.
He managed to hide it from me for months until I walked in on them after arriving home early from work one day.
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While it took a lot of time and effort, we managed to get through it and decided to move to a new area for a fresh start.
I was finally regaining confidence in our relationship when I started to notice the attention he was giving our new neighbour.
I’d often catch them talking in the street and stealing glances from across the road.
As we live on a really friendly street I did my best to push it to the back of my mind but it didn’t stop me from worrying.
Then one day I found another woman’s earring in our bedroom. I knew all too well what that meant.
Ever since, my husband has been in complete denial and is refusing to admit to his betrayal.
I’m at a loss for what to do. Even if he admits it, I’m not sure I’ll ever be able to trust him again.
How could he do this to me?
MORE FROM DEAR DEIDRE
DEIDRE SAYS: You deserve better. Sadly he has proven once again he cannot be trusted.
Betrayal erodes a relationship and without trust, you will never feel secure.
If he won’t even admit he’s been unfaithful again, it’s hard to see how you can rebuild a future.
Now only you can decide how to move forward from this – whether you want to work to repair your relationship, or need a clean break.
Of course it is possible to move forward but if he can’t admit there’s a problem, let alone face up to any issues behind his infidelity, it will be impossible for anyone to genuinely recover.
My support pack Cheating – Can You Get Over It? explains more.
Either together, or alone, some relationship counselling would help you decide on your next chapter.