My wife’s friendship with male colleague puts me on edge
DEAR DEIDRE: NO matter what I do I can’t shake the jealousy I have over my wife’s friendship with her colleague.
While I know that I’m probably being irrational, I can’t get it off my mind.
I’m 38, my wife is 42 and we’ve been married for nine years. She works as an executive at a publishing company.
Over the last year, her job has become progressively more demanding and so she has been putting more time into her work than usual.
This wasn’t something I minded until I found out she had grown close to a male colleague. He’s 39.
As they work in close proximity to each other and are always going on the same business trips, I’ve grown anxious.
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She’s constantly on the phone with him about something and I can very often hear him in the background when I call her.
My wife has assured me their relationship is strictly professional but I can’t help but feel insecure. He’s tall, slim, and blond. I don’t see how she isn’t attracted to him.
I’m trying my best not to let my jealousy get the better of me, but I can’t help but compare myself.
What if I’m not enough for her?
MORE FROM DEAR DEIDRE
DEIDRE SAYS: While it’s normal to have feelings of insecurity and jealousy from time to time, the amount you are suffering seems to be a problem and you may need help to deal with it.
If she’s given you no reason not to trust her, ask yourself if these feelings could stem from something else.
Possibly a time when you were cheated on in a previous relationship, or perhaps somebody close to you was cheated on.
Talk to your wife and explain your worries. Let her reassure you.
My support packs Dealing With Jealousy and Relationship MOT should help.