I had a one night-stand then found out my boyfriend cheated with the same man
DEAR DEIDRE: LIVING with the guilt of having had a one-night stand was getting me down – until I discovered my boyfriend had also cheated, with the same man.
Now I lurch from feeling bad to curious. What kind of person plays a couple off against each other by having sex with them both? It’s sick.
But the moment my boyfriend’s friend from university walked in the door I knew I was in trouble.
I’m a woman of 23 and my boyfriend is 26. We have been together for a year and our relationship was perfect until he brought this mate home one evening.
He is also 26 and gorgeous. I felt instant attraction.
My boyfriend opened some beers then we hit the wine and he got drunk quickly and within a few hours went to bed.
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The friend and I put on a film but as soon as it started he began coming on to me.
We ended up having sex all over the place — on the sofa, the floor and the kitchen table, all while my boyfriend was sleeping upstairs.
I have seen the friend a couple of times since and he’s always really flirty with me — but thankfully my boyfriend has been with me so nothing else has happened.
I don’t know whether it’s because I have a guilty conscience but some-thing made me question where my boyfriend had been one night.
I took a sneaky look at his phone and was not prepared for what I found — naked pictures of his friend, some of my boyfriend and one of them together.
What is going on there? I am so confused.
Is this man getting a kick out of sleeping with us both? Or has my boyfriend put him up to this?
MORE FROM DEAR DEIDRE
DEIDRE SAYS: There is only one way to find out what is going on and that is by talking to your boyfriend.
Whether this friend is cynically playing you off one another, or has simply got himself in over his head, you and your boyfriend need to work out why you were both tempted by this man – and crucially whether or not you can now forgive one another.
You’d be wise to completely avoid this friend until you and your boyfriend are on a stable footing.
My support pack Cheating – Can You Get Over It? will help you.