The 9 ways to boost self-confidence at work – and get the pay rise you want
ARE you reaching your full potential at work?
It’s a question you might find tricky to answer, given 79% of women (compared with 62% of men) regularly lack confidence in themselves when it comes to their careers.
This can not only hold women back from achieving their ambitions – confidence in ability was one of the key barriers to senior roles, women said – but also make work unmotivating and boring.
The research by My Confidence Matters, an organisation aimed at inspiring businesswomen to become leaders, said lack of self-esteem is seen across industries, regardless of business size or job title.
The gender pay gap is thriving, too – it’s 8.3% among full-time employees, according to the Office for National Statistics.
Research (plus our own lived experiences) shows that women are less likely to be promoted than men, despite receiving higher performance ratings than their male counterparts, while women also rate their performance lower than equally performing men.
Improving how you feel in yourself can change how you behave – as the saying goes: “Fake it till you make it.”
Try these hacks to help you on your way…
Adopt a power pose
The next time you want to feel confident giving a presentation or just talking about work with a colleague, use the power pose.
“Power posing involves adopting a strong upright posture, legs slightly apart, arms open,” says Dr Felicity Baker, clinical psychologist and co-founder of workplace resilience and wellbeing provider Ultimate Resilience.
“Often seen as a masculine stance, this body posture actually elevates testosterone levels in the blood, leading to a boost in confidence.”
More than a decade of research has revealed the way we stand or sit can impact how confident we feel.
“Those who power posed before a challenging meeting were more likely to cope effectively,” explains Dr Baker.
Remember, less is more
You may find yourself feeling nervous during a meeting and be talking at double the pace.
But, to be heard and respected, we need to be disciplined in how we communicate at work.
“Less is more, so avoid contributing just for the sake of it.
“Instead, wait and speak when you have something valuable to add,” says chartered psychologist Dr Jo Perkins.
“Pause before speaking so you can formulate a high-impact response.
Have some statements ready if you need to buy time to reflect on bigger issues, such as: ‘This question benefits from more consideration.
“I will come back to you by 5pm with my recommendations.’”
It’s also a good idea to be aware of your tone, pace, volume and body language.
“A calm, low voice that states in a firm, not sing-song, questioning tone, is more confident,” says Dr Perkins.
Ask fewer questions
Avoid the constant use of questions, and make declarative statements instead.
“Speak to decision-makers as peers, not final authorities,” says Justin Gasparovic, a behavioural psychology expert and founder of self-improvement website The Enemy Of Average.
“For example, say: ‘Let’s set weekly planning meetings going forward,’ instead of: ‘Do you think weekly meetings could happen, maybe?’” says Justin.
Stop apologising
How many times have you found yourself saying sorry unnecessarily, such as for giving your opinion or for just taking up space?
It’s an unconscious habit many women, especially, have due to a people-pleasing tendency, low self-esteem or simply trying to prevent conflict between others.
“Apologising for no particular reason can be a socialised behaviour and it starts young, as girls are encouraged to be harmonisers, collaborators and nurturers, as well as polite and well-mannered – hence they learn to be less assertive,” says Dr Perkins.
However, she warns that this behaviour “can call our expertise, knowledge, capability and confidence into question, undermining our authority in the eyes of others.”
Plus, it could reduce the impact of apologising in future, if saying sorry is done too often, insincerely or without proper basis.
Create an alter ego
To boost your confidence, it can help to emulate someone you admire or who inspires you.
Beyoncé created the alter ego Sasha Fierce to separate her dazzling on-stage persona from her quieter everyday personality.
“Try borrowing techniques, style and language from other people that you can shape into your own personal, authentic style,” recommends Dr Perkins.
Think about who you admire and why – it could even be a particularly confident friend.
“Ask yourself what it is they do that is admirable or compelling,” Dr Perkins adds.
Play some tunes
Before a big meeting, listen to energetic music.
Research from Northwestern University in the US identified songs such as We Will Rock You by Queen, 2 Unlimited’s Get Ready For This, and 50 Cent’s In Da Club as tunes that made people feel powerful and dominant.
Songs with a heavier bass were most empowering.
After listening to the music, volunteers were asked whether they wanted to go first or second in a debate.
They picked to go first twice as often after listening to the music, suggesting they felt more confident to compete.
Wear the right colours
The colours of your clothing can convey a mood, tone or image, even if you don’t realise it.
“Red tends to be associated with confidence, strength and passion, making it memorable,” says Dr Perkins.
“Dark colours, such as navy, grey and black can convey sophistication, professionalism, stability and confidence.
“Meanwhile, white can give the impression of a clean, efficient and groomed persona.”
As well as colour, consider your overall look, making sure it reflects the image you want to create, depending on the audience and situation.
Start the day right
A positive morning can make all the difference to how your work day pans out.
Keep a good sleep routine to help you get up on time, so you don’t start the day rushing around.
“On your commute, make a note of three things in your life you are grateful for to boost positive emotions,” says Dr Baker.
“Arriving to work mindfully – allowing yourself plenty of time for your commute, to say hello to colleagues and settle in before you start work – is important for maintaining a calm mind and will reduce the potential for stress.
“You will also feel more in charge of the day’s tasks, preventing the pressure of demands from pushing your stress levels up.”