I was excited to get married but the wedding is tearing apart our relationship

DEAR DEIDRE: I can’t wait to get married but my fiancé is so tight that our big day is turning into a miserable affair.

We keep arguing over how much it will cost and it’s starting to ruin our relationship.

I’m 30 and he’s 32. We’ve been together for five years and engaged for two.

I’ve always dreamed of a big, white wedding with all the works – a beautiful dress, church ceremony, champagne reception and a sit-down dinner. I’ve chosen the venues and imagined the decorations.

I want all our family and friends to be there, and I want to give them a day to remember.

But my fiancé thinks it’s far too expensive and a waste of money even though we’ve been saving up. He says what matters is that we love each other and get married, and it doesn’t matter if we do it cheap.

I’m not materialistic or high-maintenance but having a special day is important to me.

It has been since I was a little girl. Last week, we had such a big row about it that I ended up in tears.

He actually said it feels like I want the wedding more than I want him – which is ridiculous.

We have now reached a stalemate, with neither of us willing to back down. I don’t know what to do.

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DEIDRE SAYS: It’s a shame that something that should cement your relationship is tearing you apart.

Neither of you is right or wrong – he simply doesn’t share your childhood dream. The only way out of your stalemate is to compromise.

Perhaps there’s a way of reducing the costs – for example, a second-hand dress, a buffet instead of sit-down dinner, getting friends to make table displays.

Remember, the most important thing is having those you love there.

Maybe you could ask for a contribution instead of wedding presents.

My support pack, Wedding Worries, should be useful for you to read.