I’m a scrawny size 8 so tried Kylie Jenner-style ‘chicken fillet’ hip pads – I looked sexy, they made me a man magnet
CURVE appeal. It’s a phrase that’s defined the female form for centuries and thanks to the Kardashians it’s going nowhere fast.
From Marilyn Monroe to Mariah Carey, our leading ladies have used their hourglass silhouettes to define what it is to be sexy — and make all the men stare.
It’s been a big blow for me and my pencil-shaped size 8 body.
For years I’ve hidden my shapeless figure away under empire line dresses and shied away from form-fitting styles that make my frame more babyish than beautiful.
My hipless physique was a lost cause, unless I fancied spending a fortune on a Brazilian butt lift.
So you can imagine my eye-popping delight when I saw slender star Kylie Jenner had magically grown a pair of hips at Paris Fashion Week recently.
The 26-year-old reality show babe flaunted a full-on Jessica Rabbit look in a stunning silver gown at Paris Fashion Week.
According to fans, her sumptuous curves were likely fake, and fabulously cheap.
Her supposed secret? A pair of hip pads pulled on like your favourite pair of knickers.
One eagle-eyed fan wrote online: “Is Kylie padding again?”, while another added: “Are those pads to give volume?”
Praise be, I thought, eagerly scrolling Asos and Amazon for a pair of wonder pants that might just change my life.
I’ve always been a die-hard fan of the Kardashians and do everything I can to look like them.
I work out three times a week at the gym, play netball and tennis at the weekend and do daily squats in a desperate attempt to achieve Kim’s impressive rear.
And don’t get me started on Kim’s SKIMS brand. All the TikTok dupes in the world won’t replicate the real deal.
Devoid of even the slightest bend in my body, I’ll be forever grateful for her revolutionary shapewear.
So, why wouldn’t I trust Kylie’s hip pads? Anything, literally anything, to transform my body from child to grown woman.
All my friends are so lucky to have big boobs and tiny waists.
While they turn heads on the street with their voluptuous size 12 bodies, I feel like the baby in the dress I bought with my school pocket money, without an ounce of sexiness to lure in the lads.
At 26 years old and depressingly single, I’m ready to find love like Kylie and actor beau Timothee Chalamet.
Can a pair of high street hip pads score me a film star? I may as well try.
Turning up to the studio for my Fabulous photo shoot in my unassuming black leggings and shapeless zip-up jacket, I’m full of anticipation.
I’m sick of trawling the rails for A-line or oversized dresses.
I just want to wear something form-fitting without feeling ridiculous. Is that so much to ask?
If I looked curvy, I’d feel like a queen — sexier, more confident, maybe even happier.
Could this finally be the miracle I’m searching for?
Stripping down to my knickers in front of the changing room mirror, I take one last look at my petite childlike reflection.
“Good riddance!”, I mutter, glancing warily at the rail of Kylie-style skin-tight silver dresses that await me.
Seeing the Bslingerie shapewear waist slimmer butt lifter control panties on the hanger, I fear I’ll look more like Mrs Doubtfire than Marilyn Monroe if I wear the frumpy hip pad pants.
They look just like a pair of Spanx — a waistband up to your armpits and shorts-style legs that stamp out any hope of wearing a short skirt or mini dress.
Undeterred, I wriggle inside the tight fabric, brave a peek at my new silhouette and — wow! — what a transformation.
OK, so the hefty chicken fillet-shape foam lumps on my thighs aren’t the sexiest thing I’d ever seen — I’d have to whip them off in a hurry if I took a man home — but pop a dress on and I look like a Greek goddess.
My jaw drops to the floor as I stare at my curvaceous form. The tiny waist, the S-shaped hips, the Kim K bottom . . . I’m speechless.
Just like that, I feel like a dazzling movie star.
I can’t stop running my hands over my newly blossomed curves.
So THIS is what it’s like to feel sexy, I think, beaming from ear to ear.
Once made up and ready to hit the town, there’s no way I’m taking these off. I ring my pals and head to a bar, feeling like a million dollars.
Walking down the street in my dress and heels, for the first time I see heads turn and stare.
At the bar, I’m hit with another first.
“It’s covered,” says the barman, cocking his head towards a handsome chap two seats down as I go to pay for my rosé.
I feel myself flush tomato-red as I smile giddily over my wine glass.
Have £26.99 from Amazon fake hips made me a man magnet? There’s hope for me to bag a handsome bloke yet.
Throughout the evening I feel the eyes of countless chaps gazing my way.
One gent even holds the door when I nip to the loo – such chivalry I have never seen before.
My friends, meanwhile, are shell-shocked.
“Where’s Emily?” a longtime pal chimes with astonishment as I stand by our booth.
“You’re literally glowing,” says another, pulling me in for a closer look at my fab figure.
I wear the hip pads with pride until I hit the pillow at midnight, exhausted and thrilled by my new-found magic pants.
Unlike some cheap shapewear, these babies didn’t rub a bit all day and, at times, I even forgot I was wearing them.
Will I wear them again? Absolutely.
Frankly, I feel so hot in them, I’d wear them to bed if I could.
My new hip pads will be a wardrobe staple for every summer wedding in my diary. And if I outshine the bride, then so be it.
To all the haters who claim Kylie’s “faking it” with her new figure – you’re just jealous.
Do you really care that much about someone else’s style?
She’s happy and she’s going to make thousands of other girls happy too.
I loved her curvy look at Paris Fashion Week and now I love my look too. I feel a prouder, sexier, more confident woman.
Thank you, Kylie.
- Additional reporting: Kirsten Jones