I live by 5 rigid dating rules from ‘uneven’ bill-splits to female pals…haters say they’re a red flag but I don’t care
AN ACTRESS has jumped into the spotlight after sharing the rigid dating rules she swears by.
Canadian actress and musician Soma Chhaya, 25, has shared her controversial five part dating checklist – covering everything from female friendships to splitting the bill.
Taking to Instagram, the 25-year-old shared her rigid rules – which has since amassed over 144,000 likes, and also been dubbed a “red flag”.
But the Miami resident stands by her advice, saying that her boyfriend of over three years agrees with her.
“Standards, rules and boundaries are necessary for a healthy relationship and if someone doesn’t respect them, they’re not the right person anyway,” Soma said.
“We can’t expect people to read our minds on what we are and aren’t okay with.
“And it’s fine for these rules to change over time!
“The key is to communicate when something makes you uncomfortable, and to brainstorm together a way to handle it.”
Rule 1: Female friendships
Soma’s first rule is in regards to her partner having female friendships.
The actress said: “I think it is so important for your significant other to not just be your partner, romantically, but to also be your best friend, too.
“If there is another woman my partner feels closer to, even in a platonic way, it signals to me that they do not trust me with their heart fully.
“Either we are not a good match or I need to step up and get them to trust me in some way.”
Rule 2: Split the bill
For Soma, relationships also depend on splitting the bill – but, not evenly.
She argues that costs should be split dependent on income.
Soma said: “I think splitting things is very common, but splitting proportion to income is something my boyfriend introduced me to.
“I like to contribute to our expenses but I make significantly less than him.
“There may come a time when I make more than him, then I will contribute more.
“It feels most fair to both parties.”
Rule 3: No public fights
Also on Soma’s list is making sure that any fights never happen in public.
She asserts that a couple should always present themselves as an unit in public, even if that isn’t the case behind closed doors.
Soma said: “If people publicly see you fighting, it leaves you vulnerable.
“Others may feel awkward/burdened by you involving them in your personal business.
“It can also embarrass your partner publicly.
“Feedback and disagreements are more effective when discussed in private.”
Rule 4: No sex talk
Soma added that she believes your sex life with your partner should never be spoken about.
For her, privacy is absolutely vital to a happy relationship.
She said: “Your intimacy is for you and your partner to know – no one else.
“I think people need to consent to intimate details being shared about them.
“Outside of a medical situation, it’s inappropriate to share this without your partner’s consent.”
Rule 5: No casual dating
The Canadian said that not only is she not a fan of casual dating, but she actually doesn’t “believe” in it.
She said: “I don’t believe in casual dating.
“I have done it before and it was such a waste of time and energy.
“I need to know someone’s intentions up front so I can decide if I’d like to invest my time into them.”
Social media users were quick to comment on how stringent Soma’s rules are, with a few seeming offended by her suggestions.
“You lost me with the whole rules thing… good luck with that,” said one person.
Another added: “Sounds like you want control.”
While a third went as far as to argue: “Some of these are toxic af.
“You sound controlling and insecure to say you’re the best girlfriend.
“A person should be able to talk to friends about the relationship when they need to vent or need advice.
“And if something makes you uncomfortable, you should be an adult and discuss it.
“Otherwise unreasonable or abnormal things could make you “uncomfortable” just because you want to be controlling and your partner deserves a discussion.”
Although, some users agreed with her – saying that these are fundamental basics for dating.
One fan said: “She’s spitting facts that apply to both sides.”
Another said: “Literally none of these are toxic.”
And a third added: “I don’t get why the comments are so rude? It’s just basic relationship stuff everyone should follow.”
Soma claims that her boyfriend Antoine Martel, 29, a business owner and real estate investor, fully support her opinions.
She added: “My friends, family and boyfriend were very supportive of the content.
“The reaction online was divided.
“But I didn’t expect everyone to agree with me.
“In fact, I didn’t want that.
“I wanted to start a conversation”
