I was drinking vodka to numb pain of losing wife, my new partner saved me & I’m about to be dad of 3, says Simon Thomas
WHEN Simon Thomas lost his wife Gemma six years ago, he was struggling to cope and trying to raise their son Ethan alone.
But thanks to his second wife Derrina Jebb, the family has been pieced back together and Simon credits her with saving his son.
Now the pair have one-year-old daughter Talitha and another baby on the way.
In an exclusive interview, Soccer Saturday host Simon, 51, who admits to drinking heavily after his wife’s death, says: “Without a doubt, she’s the reason Ethan is on a level footing.
“Derrina has been a massive blessing to us after everything that happened.
“She is a mother figure who came into his life, and it’s an amazing sacrifice to love someone else’s child.
“So, despite everything that’s happened, Ethan is incredibly lucky and blessed, which is a weird thing to say.
“But Derrina loves him like he’s her own.”
Gemma, 40, died just three days after being diagnosed with acute myeloid leukaemia in 2017 when Ethan was eight.
It left her husband and son understandably devastated, and Simon struggled to go on after the loss but kept trying for his son’s sake.
But as he continued to struggle with grief, his boozing got out of control.
He admitted previously: “For months every single night was a battle not to drink. Occasionally I would win, mostly I lost.
“I would sink a litre of vodka in an evening, disguised in a coke can.
“In social situations, where I felt more paranoid than I had ever done before, it became an even bigger mask.”
Simon found himself “on the verge of losing everything” as he tried to “numb the pain”.
He has now been sober for more than two years and is able to fully embrace family and work. Talking about his lifestyle change, he said:
“The biggest benefit is the joy of being present.
“I know for parents it’s hard on a whole number of fronts — there is a battle for our attention.
“I’ve really enjoyed just being there. It’s without a doubt one of the best decisions I’ve ever made.”
He met Derrina, 31, a pastor’s daughter, a year after Gemma’s death and she has been by his side ever since.
It was a steep learning curve but I count myself lucky to have them both
Simon Thomas
Derrina came into Ethan’s life when he was ten, and the pair became firm friends. She is also his go-to when he needs help with his homework.
Simon said: “Stepmums get a bad rep because they have a bad name in some children’s films, but I think the most incredible gift you can give a child is to love them as your own.
“She chooses to love him even though he’s not her flesh and blood. That’s an amazing gift to give a kid.”
Simon, who is working alongside his old Blue Peter colleague Konnie Huq with Talking Futures, to get parents talking with their kids about the years ahead, regularly posts snaps of his new wife and son together.
He also told how Derrina makes sure the family remember Gemma, from letting off balloons to mark her birthday to talking about her at home.
Eighteen months ago Simon and Derrina had their first child of their own, Talitha, and are now preparing for another arrival, which Ethan hopes will be a boy.
“We’ve decided to leave finding out until the birth, as there are so few surprises left these days,” Simon says.
Given the large age gap, Simon wanted to make sure his son would be comfortable with the new arrival after spending almost all his life as an only child.
He and Gemma had hoped for a second child, but infertility issues left them unable to conceive.
Speaking about it in 2023 on Streams Studio on social media, Simon said: “After having Ethan, Gemma and I wanted to give him a sibling but we learned that Gemma had a serious fertility issue. After two rounds of IVF and a miscarriage we realised it wasn’t meant to be, but one child was a blessing.”
Simon tells how Ethan used to ask about having a sibling when he was younger, and took to his new role as a big brother like a duck to water.
Simon says: “He’s absolutely loved it. It was a big game-changer for him because he had spent 13 years as an only child and was used to that life.
“Talitha arrived eight weeks early, which was a shock. They have such a beautiful connection, even though there’s an age gap.
“Seeing Ethan’s face light up when he comes back from school is lovely, and she likes to wave him off every morning. Ethan has been learning guitar for quite a while and is getting good.
“He tends to do 20 minutes of practice before he goes to school and Talitha always runs over to watch him play.”
The final weeks of the birth were tough as Derrina suffered pre-eclampsia, a dangerous condition for both mum and tot.
Posting about the birth of their daughter on Instagram, Simon said: “One moment we think we’ve got eight weeks until our little one arrives, the next, after Derrina fell rapidly ill, we’re suddenly welcoming into the world a very tiny, but hugely precious, baby girl weighing just over three pounds.”
Thankfully, both mum and baby recovered well after the “fear-filled” labour, but it did mean a stressful adjustment period at home.
“We had a teenager in the house and a premature baby in the hospital,” Simon said. “It was a steep learning curve but I count myself lucky to have them both.”
Simon found having a newborn was like being in new territory all over again.
He said: “Nothing prepares you for a screaming newborn. It’s been quite a number of years between Ethan being that age and Talitha being born. I’d forgotten most of it.”
Since hitting the teenage years Ethan has developed the classic traits of not being very chatty, but Simon and Derrina have seen a huge change in him since he joined the Army cadets three months ago.
“It’s really helped him become more organised and helpful around the house,” Simon said.
“We believe in teaching kids to take a role — I don’t want him to go to university and not know what a washing machine is. I’d be so embarrassed.
Ethan is incredibly lucky because she loves him like her own. Stepmums get a bad rep but that’s an amazing gift to give a kid
Simon Thomas
“The cadets is helping him grow up a bit. It’s certainly triggered his organisational gene.” It has led to one bittersweet moment for Simon — no longer having to pack his son’s lunch.
Since the passing of Gemma, the former Blue Peter presenter has slipped a note into Ethan’s lunch box each day to remind his son how much he loves him.
But now Simon tells The Sun: “I can’t remember the last time I made him a sandwich. He makes his own lunch every day.”
The father and son won’t struggle for things to keep chatting about though, as Ethan is eyeing up a career as a journalist. But he does not want to follow his father’s footsteps into TV, either as a children’s presenter or sports reporter.
Simon said: “We have lots of conversations about the future, and right now he wants to be a journalist, not the kind on TV. I don’t want to put him off being one but I want to make sure he’s aware that it’s a competitive career.
“I’ve said he should start doing things now, maybe suggest to his school they set up a magazine.
“He’ll soon be 16 and picking GCSEs and what direction to go in after. I think having these conversations with him is empowering, and it’s so important we don’t just avoid it.
“Some of my best conversations with Ethan have been in the car or on a walk. It makes it less intimidating than doing a version with lots of eye contact.”
- Parents and educators can find out more and access free resources by visiting talkingfutures.org.uk.
