My husband is expecting me to uproot our life
DEAR DEIDRE: Without informing me, my husband has decided to move 200 miles away – but I don’t want to go.
He announced he wanted to uproot our family and move to the city where he grew up.
I’m 40 and he’s 42. We have two young kids.
My job is here, as are my family and all my friends.
I have no desire to start again somewhere else. Neither do the children – they are doing well at school and have made good friends too.
When I told my husband we were staying put, he said we could have a long-distance relationship.
I told him that won’t work and we should separate. I’m so angry he made such a big decision without me, and the truth is I haven’t been happy for years.
He has finally agreed our marriage is over. But he won’t tell me when he’s leaving.
It’s been months, and I want him to go now.
I’d like to buy him out of our house but can’t afford to.
I feel like I’m stuck in limbo. What can I do?
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DEIDRE SAYS: Your husband’s selfish decision – perhaps the result of a midlife crisis – has high-lighted the unhappiness in your marriage and caused it to unravel.
But it sounds like while you’re ready to call it quits, he isn’t ready to let you go. It isn’t good for your kids, who are in limbo too.
Tell him you need a deadline for his departure. My support pack, Standing Up For Yourself, can help you with this conversation.
Contact rightsofwomen. org.uk for legal advice, and see Citizen’s Advice (advice.org.uk) to get financial help.
