My mum wore the most controversial outfit to my wedding day – but it was my cousin who was the real shocker
WE’RE officially entering wedding season and guests will know all too well that finding the perfect outfit can be tricky to navigate.
Avoiding wearing the same outfit as another guest is key, anything too provocative should be ditched and above all never wear white particularly if you’re in the wedding party.
However, one mother-of-the-bride decided to forgo tradition and turned up to her daughter’s wedding in a full white ensemble.
Not only that, but her daughter Hannah Tomlinson, says her mum Vanessa Challen’s choice in dress was actually similar to what an older bride might wear.
Hannah, 39, who lives in West Sussex with husband, Russell 43, tells Fabulous: “The dress she wore was white all over.
“It was the equivalent to what an older woman might wear for their own wedding.”
While most brides might have been horrified by their mum wearing an outfit that could be mistaken for a wedding dress for their big day, Hannah had a surprising reaction.
“We just went dress shopping for a really long time for my mum and it was the nicest outfit that we found,” she says.
“Because it looked nice on her it didn’t even register to me about what colour it was.
“I didn’t even really think about it. I just thought it looked nice and it didn’t bother me what colour she wore.”
Hannah married Russell in a traditional Catholic ceremony wearing a full white gown and enormous train with the bridesmaids following a baby blue and pink scheme.
Guests then celebrated the reception in a marquee on the village green where Hannah’s dad Paul lives.
Far from trying to upstage her, Hannah says that her mum did everything possible to help her out with the wedding.
“She was a huge part of the planning process,” Hannah says.
“We have a really good relationship and she wanted to make sure that my day was perfect.
“She was even concerned about upstaging the bridesmaids!”
And while Hannah says that her mum’s outfit barely batted an eyelid, there was one guest in particular that raised a few eyebrows.
“My cousin wore a full white suit and his outfit was the talk of the wedding,” she recalls.
“No one thought anything about my mum wearing all-white but my cousin certainly got a few remarks from almost every guest at the wedding.
“There’s a huge history of cricket in my family and everyone joked all day that he looked like he was off to play a match.
“My lovely mum looked positively subtle compared to him!”
Aside from her cousin’s loud outfit, Hannah says she can’t understand the controversy over wearing white to a wedding.
“I have seen it become more of an issue in recent years,” Hannah says.
“But I think there is so much worse that you can do as a guest.
Dos and don’ts of wedding dress codes
By Josie Griffiths, Fabulous deputy editor and bride-to-be.
Josie Griffiths said: I’ll never forget the wedding I went to in October 2022 where a guest wore a white dress.
It was ill-fitting, knee length and looked nothing like an actual wedding dress, but that didn’t stop everyone judging her.
The rules on wedding guest outfits – which are annoyingly loads stricter for women than they are for men – are meant to be about “not upstaging the bride”, which in reality is quite hard to do on someone else’s wedding day.
But if you get it wrong as a guest, you do end up looking a bit silly, and in front of loads of people who don’t know you personally.
It’s just not the occasion for your new white dress, as much as online stores love dumping them in the ‘wedding guest’ section.
I’d avoid anything too tight/short, and ditch super formal gowns unless the dress code calls for them – you don’t want to be in a full length sequin gown at a smart casual event.
Personally I don’t like black dresses either, it isn’t a funeral.
Otherwise you should be pretty safe. Technically wearing red means you’re in love with the groom, but that’s the kind of rule most people would scoff at nowadays.
I do always check what colour the bridesmaids are in, just to be safe, after the Spanish wedding where I watched them walk down the aisle in the exact same dress I’d had in my Asos shopping basket just weeks earlier.
If in doubt, safest to just double check with the bride… but if you’re already doubting your dress that might be all the answer you need.
Wedding Guest Outfit Etiquette
If you're struggling to decided on a dress to see you through wedding season, here's a few rules on what not to wear so you don't get in trouble.
- Folklore says that wearing red at a wedding means you slept with the groom.
- Casual attire like jeans and flip flops should always be avoided.
- Any colour that could be picked up as white or cream – even if it’s not.
- Most would agree that your cleavage needs to be covered.
- Wearing white is a massive no-no if you’re not the bride.
“At my sister’s wedding there was one guest who wore a white dress which is forgivable, however, her low-cut cleavage was not.
“The whole thing really upset me.”
Hannah says that while others might be quick to baulk at her mum’s choice in outfit, they have no right to.
She adds, “I think the only person that can have an opinion is the bride themselves.
“If the bride is happy then there should be no remarks from anyone else whatsoever, obviously if she isn’t happy then don’t wear it.
“On that day I knew I was the most special person in the room and there’s no way anyone could upstage me.
“It didn’t even cross my mind that someone could outshine me on my wedding day.”
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