I underwent female genital mutilation as a child – is this why I can’t enjoy sex?
DEAR DEIDRE: AS a child, I underwent female genital mutilation. I’m convinced it’s affected my enjoyment of sex.
Is there any medication I can take to make sex more pleasurable?
My husband and I are in our 40s, we share three beautiful children aged between five and 11 years old.
We moved to the UK from a country in Africa more than 14 years ago shortly after we got married.
I was glad to move away as I didn’t want my daughter to experience what I did.
Being cut as I was has always meant that sex has been painful but my husband has never understood why.
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We’ve always had problems with sex and now I don’t want to have sex with him at all because the pain is excruciating.
I really want to show my husband how much I love him by being physically close but I can’t bear the discomfort.
I have tried everything to ease the pain but nothing has worked.
Now, I’m desperate to find a solution so I can enjoy my sex life for the first time and before my relationship ends.
My husband is fed up with a sexless marriage, we haven’t had intercourse together for three years.
What can I do to solve this issue?
DEIDRE SAYS: Female genital mutilation, which describes partial or total removal of the female external genitalia for non-medical reasons is illegal here in the UK.
I’m sorry this unnecessary procedure was carried out on you and has left you with lifelong limitations.
MORE FROM DEAR DEIDRE
Your clitoris, the ultimate sexually sensitive area of the female body, was removed, but there are other very sensitive erogenous zones in the female body.
My support pack Understanding The G-spot will help you understand how you can still achieve an orgasm in the absence of a clitoris.
The G-spot is an area right inside your vagina, just behind the pubic bone, if it is stimulated in the right way it may help you to achieve orgasm.
I’m also concerned you write about being in pain so please go and see your GP who will be able to refer you for specialist care.