How to close the ‘orgasm gap’ with nine quirky sex tips from sleeping in the nude to wearing socks in bed
TIRED of faking it? You’re not alone.
Going all the way with your partner is special but it’s not always a level playing field.
On average, men experience orgasms 20 per cent more than women during sex.
And it doesn’t end there, as research has found nearly a quarter of women cross the finish line on their own weekly, compared to nearly half of men.
This is what is known as the “orgasm gap”.
So with National Orgasm Day coming on Wednesday next week, we are on a mission to close it.
But it is not just your sexual skill set which may need honing.
From wearing socks in the sack, to painting your walls purple, Sun Sexpert Georgette Culley reveals nine quirky sex tips to get you screaming “yes, yes, yes!”
1. WEAR SOCKS IN BED
THE humble cotton numbers might seem like the least sexy item to wear when seducing your partner but they can actually spice up your sex life, research shows.
Keeping your tootsies warm may boost blood circulation, including to those all-important erogenous zones, increasing sensitivity and upping your chances of scoring the Big O.
2. PERFECT TEMPERATURE
WHEN it comes to hitting the G-spot, temperature is key.
You don’t want to be too hot or too cold, as this can make you uncomfortable and ruin your chances of climaxing.
Experts believe the perfect room temperature is 20C, which is, er, 69 degrees fahrenheit.
So grab a thermometer and make sure the room is just right before you seduce your partner. It is science, baby.
3. HAVE A HOT CUPPA
MOST of us grab a drink to loosen up between the sheets but alcohol slows down the nervous system, making orgasms harder to reach.
On the flip side, a good cuppa or a coffee revs up your nervous system.
Studies show caffeine can help men perform better in the bedroom, by boosting testosterone levels and lowering chances of erectile dysfunction.
4. GO BANANAS
THE phallic fruit has long been associated with sex but bananas are not all style and no substance.
They are packed with nutrients including potassium, which can boost production of testosterone, the hormone that cranks up your sex drive and helps you last longer in bed.
So next time you are planning a steamy night, don’t forget to eat a banana or two.
5. SLEEP IN THE NUDE
DITCHING your comfy PJs could boost your sex life life and deepen your bond with your partner.
Skin-to-skin contact enhances release of oxytocin, the love hormone, which helps reduce stress and heightens intimacy.
Sleeping nude can also lead to more spontaneous moments of passion, easing the pressure and potentially increasing your chances of orgasm.
What’s not to love?
6. SEX UP YOUR SHEETS
WHEN you are turning up the heat in the bedroom, breathable sheets are a must.
Natural or semi-natural materials such as cotton, bamboo, Tencel, modal, silk and linen are ideal.
Avoid 100-per-cent polyester sheets which can be hot and rough.
And steer clear of synthetic satin ones as they are slippery, hot and terrible at absorbing sweat.
The comfier you are, the more likely you are to orgasm, according to research.
7. MAKE ROOM SMELL GOOD
SCENT is a game-changer in the bedroom and we are not just talking about your partner’s perfume or aftershave.
Lavender, the unsung hero, can help you relax, boost your mood and lower anxiety and depression – perfect for boosting libido and, yes, even enhancing erections, studies show.
Whether you opt for an aromatherapy burner or sneak a few drops of lavender oil under your pillow, you will be on your way to a more fragrant and, ahem, fruitful night.
8. PAINT THE WALLS PURPLE
FORGET painting the walls red, purple is the real sexy colour.
In a survey of 2,000 adults, the amount of sex people had varied by the colour of their bedroom and bedding.
People with purple rooms got it on about 3.49 times a week, followed by red (3.18), sky-blue (3.14), pink (3.02), and black (2.99).
So grab a paintbrush and a pot of purple paint. You might just find yourself getting lucky more often.
9. HAVE A COLD SHOWER
SURPRISINGLY, a cold shower before sex can kickstart your libido, studies show.
Cold-water therapy can boost testosterone levels and improve sexual health, making it a win-win for both sexes.
So next time you want to turn up the heat, skip the hot bath and run a cold shower instead.
You’re welcome.
‘WOMEN MAY ADD TO PROBLEM’
By Lizzie Cundy
SADLY, I wasn’t surprised to hear about the gender orgasm gap. If I’m honest, I would’ve thought it could have been bigger, if the men I’ve been out with are anything to go by.
Most blokes are so keen to get their end away – the rump and run, I call it – they don’t really consider what their other half would like in the bedroom.
Half of the fun between the sheets is pleasing your lover but men mainly think about themselves and it’s because they are the more self-serving species.
Let’s face it, men are more selfish lovers than women and things need to change.
Most don’t think about what they can do to turn a woman on. They don’t put the time and effort in. It’s wham, bam, thank you ma’am, rather than: “Let’s have a nice night and let me ask you what you would like.”
That doesn’t tend to happen, certainly not with the men I’ve been out with.
It’s high time blokes put women first. And fellas, I’ve got a secret for you – if you give your lady a really good time, she might even want to do it more often. It’s a win-win.
I’m no stranger to bad sex. I once had a boyfriend who didn’t have a clue in the bedroom. I’d tell him, “I like this . . . ” but then he’d do it so ferociously I remember describing him to a friend as the garden mower. He’d start off slow but when he got going he’d go like the clappers. It was too much.
I suppose some men are just clueless, rather than selfish. So, if that’s the case, ladies, it’s up to you to explain what you like. I believe anyone can improve with a bit of coaching.
Vicious cycle
You need to say: “Actually, darling, I much prefer it this way.” There’s no harm in that, and knowing what each other likes will bring you closer together. You’ll have a better, stronger relationship in the long run.
Sex isn’t always like in the movies, where all is perfect. You’ve got to make it fun and not overthink it.
Us ladies do need to stop faking it. Every woman I know does this to make their man feel like he’s doing a good job, but we’re contributing to the problem.
Men walk away mistakenly thinking they are some Adonis who has done a great job, when they haven’t.
But I do get it, women use it as a tool to get things over with because they’re not enjoying it. It’s a vicious cycle.
It’s better to be honest with your bloke, while maintaining a sense of humour and letting them know how to please you.
Men may not want to talk about it. But if you don’t communicate and make it fun, it can all end in disaster.
Without a healthy sex life, most relationships will go downhill. My mum used to always say that it is either sex or money which will ruin a marriage.
I’ve seen time and time again, with women I know, that an unfulfilling sex life can lead to divorce.
If the woman isn’t getting turned on, the intimacy will dwindle between a couple and ultimately it’s the sex-starved man who gets really fed up.
If a woman thinks, “Let’s just get it over with”, which so many do, it can lead to a split. All because the woman isn’t getting what she needs.
Men could have the life they really would love if they just put a bit more effort in, because then their lady will want it more regularly and everyone will be happy.
So come on, fellas, you can do better.
You need to pull your socks so we can narrow these statistics as soon as possible.
Or you might find yourself in your bed . . . alone.